The table below shows the weight of people in a particular country from 1999 to 2009.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the percentages of men and womenmales and females at different weight categoriesphysical fitness levels in a countryparticular nation between 1999 and 2009.
OverallObviously, most women and men were at normal weight during the period shownresearch period. While the percentage of overweight women increased, the reverse was true for men.
In 1999, 49% of women had a normal weight, while the figure for those who were underweight stood at just over half that figureabout half of that percent. A similar pattern was seen among menin males but the figures were smaller, at 41% and 22% respectively. Overweight women accounted for 18%Overweight females made up 18% in that year, much lower than the figure formuch lower than that of malefemale counterparts, atwith 30%.
The percentages of underweight women and men both rose in 2004, to 51% and 48% respectively, before falling to 47% each in 2009. Similarly, overweight females and males accounted for smaller percentages of the population in 2004, at 21% and 23%, and both figures then went down to 19% each in 2009. Despite a rise of 2% in the first five years, the percentage of women who were underweightwith an underweight then fell by 1 percentage pointdecreased by 1%. However, the the opposite trend was seenopposite trends were witnessed in the percentage of underweight menin underweight men’s percentage, with 20% and 23% respectively.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organised and uses a useful range of comparative language, with many individual figures reported accurately. Its main limitation is the confusion between normal-weight and underweight data in 2004 and 2009, which creates a serious contradiction in the detail. Prioritise checking every category label against the table and making the overview and body comparisons consistently accurate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and many accurate figures are provided, but the normal-weight values for 2004 and 2009 are wrongly presented as underweight data.
Check every figure against both its row and column, then describe each weight category without contradictory labels.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs progress logically, although the contradictory underweight statements weaken clarity within the final paragraph.
Group the normal-weight figures separately from the underweight and overweight trends so each comparison remains easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied comparison vocabulary, but phrases such as 'physical fitness levels,' 'female counterparts,' and 'with an underweight' are imprecise or incorrect.
Use exact category nouns and natural collocations such as 'weight category,' 'male counterparts,' and 'were underweight.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is generally controlled, though awkward noun phrases and reference structures occasionally reduce precision.
Proofread comparative structures and noun phrases, especially references using 'that of' and possessive percentage expressions.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the weight of people in a particular country from 1999 to 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.