You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what sort of job you would like - say what experience and skills you have

Same questionCompare 5 different answers (Band 6.5–7)

Sample Response

1

Dear Sir or Madam, I have heard ofabout your employment agency from my friend who recently got a two-year work placement at a Japanese company, with your agency's assistancecourtesy of your wonderful efforts. After hearingNot to mention, of course, after hearing the success story from my friend, I have also decided to contactreach you and ask you to findrequest you find a suitable part-time job for me. By way of introductionTo introduce myself a little, I am a Greek national and currently studying at university in my final yeara university as a final-year student, majoring in Accounting Information Systems, here in Montreal. My current GPA is 3.5 if this information is relevantif it really matters. As for what sort of job I want, an office job, preferably as an accounting clerk or data entry operatorAccounting Clerk or Data Entry Operator would be a idealvery ideal one. I should also have no problem working as a part-time Office Administrator, provided that the schedules I am offeredthe schedules, I am offered, do not conflict with my class schedules. Now regarding my experience and skills, I type quickly and accuratelyhave a very good typing speed, and I am highly computer-literatevery much computer literate. Besides, I am also good at multitasking, and I can speak a little Frenchlittle French, and haveother than having a very good fluency in the English language.

2

I hope you willwould help me find a part-time job as soon as possible. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Zoe Laskari

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The writer fully addresses the request with a clear self-introduction, specific job preferences, and a useful account of relevant skills, all in a generally professional letter. The main limitation is that several expressions and punctuation choices sound awkward or overly conversational, reducing precision and fluency. The highest priority is to replace these strained phrases with concise, natural business English and edit comma placement carefully.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.5
Scoring rule

All three bullet points are clearly covered with relevant detail, although 'if it really matters' is slightly unsuitable for a formal agency letter.

Next step

Maintain a consistently professional tone by presenting qualifications directly and removing dismissive asides.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The letter follows a clear sequence from background to job preferences, skills, and request, with generally effective linking.

Next step

Divide the long main paragraph into focused sections and avoid mechanical transitions such as 'Now regarding.'

LR

Lexical Resource

6.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied enough for the topic, but collocations such as 'reach you,' 'a very ideal one,' and 'a very good fluency' are unnatural.

Next step

Use concise professional phrasing such as 'contact you,' 'an ideal role,' and 'fluent in English.'

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

The response shows a good range of sentence structures, but unnecessary commas and some article and construction errors recur.

Next step

Remove commas that separate essential sentence elements and refine forms such as 'speak a little French' and 'request that you find.'

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter:

- introduce yourself

- explain what sort of job you would like

- say what experience and skills you have

Your response

Words0
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Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.