In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Some are of the opinion that it is unethical to advertise to children. In my opinion, although at certain ages these advertisements should be permitted, in general children are too vulnerable a segment of the population.
Those who argue in favor of advertising to children point out that it ispoint out it is not necessarily unfair. There are situations when even these proponents would concede advertising is exploitativeexploitive, such as when there are commercials for cereals with high sugar content during cartoon shows. However, this is only a single instance. Many children, especially as they get older, are capable of thinking rationally, controlling their need for instant gratification, and would therefore like to be informed about new products they are interested in. If a child who is 10 years old sees an advertisement for a water park or sporting event, they might convince their parents to enjoy a fun outdoor activitya fun, outdoors activity.
Nonetheless, most children are negatively affectedimpacted by advertisements as they lack self-control. Adults are more capable of inhibiting their desires whereas children lack sufficient experiencewhile children are not experienced enough and their cognitive development does not allow for higher-order reasoning. For instance, if a young child sees an advertisement for alcohol or a violent videogame, there is a strong likelihood they will want to try the advertised productthey will want to try it. Even if they do not actually get an opportunity to use an age-inappropriate product, the appeal of these products has already become firmly establishedhas already been deeply implanted. Recent research supports the contention that habits and impressions formed in early childhood are harder to change later in lifeharder to leave behind later in life.
In conclusion, despite the acceptabilityfeasibility of certain advertisements for older children, most marketing directed at impressionable children should be banned. This will be a difficult process to manage but many countries have undertaken it already.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both perspectives directly, sustains a nuanced opinion, and develops each side with well-chosen examples in a highly coherent progression. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in example choice and phrasing, particularly the move to alcohol and violent video games and expressions such as “fun, outdoors activity.” The best improvement would be to keep examples tightly aligned with the advertised goods in the prompt and polish the few awkward collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth, the opinion is clear throughout, and the supporting reasoning is relevant and well developed.
Keep every example tightly focused on child-directed advertising for the kinds of consumer goods identified in the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress smoothly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used flexibly and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the transition from general advertising harms to the age-inappropriate product example so the line of argument is even tighter.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced arguments effectively, despite a few slightly awkward word choices.
Polish isolated collocations such as “outdoors activity” and select the most natural form of words such as “exploitative.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few minor slips do not affect clarity.
Check article, modifier, and comma choices in long sentences to achieve consistently polished accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.