The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social and economic problems for society in the future, especially for the younger generation. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social In this modern era, the old people of rich nations creates problems for the youth socially and economically. some people believe that elders are a burden on the youngsters, however, I do not agree with this statement because they are a part and parcel of our life and perform an important role in our daily activities. This issue will be discussedthis will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.upcoming paragraphs. The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social
We cannot ignore the valuable contribution of active and healthy aged individuals. Firstlyfirstly, when we go out for workthe daily work, they look after the childrenlook after the children and take care of them. Byby doing this, they save us a large amount of moneysave our large part of the money which could be used to improve the family’s standard of livingthe living standard of the family. Secondlysecondly, they relieve our loneliness and tirednessremove the loneliness and tiredness because when we come back from work, we chat with themwe have gossips with them which gives us relief.which give us relief. The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social
Furthermore, our grandparents become our role models and help us in our career development. Forfor instance, they have a lot of experience and knowledge from the past and this can be useful for our futurein our future perspective. Likewiselikewise, they have seen many ups and downs earlier in lifein their early time. Therefore, they can advise usso, they could advise us and give us confidence during difficult times.give confidence in our difficult time. The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social
In conclusion, whether aged persons creates problems for young persons but they lead us from the front and are our well-wishers in a real sense. The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a clear position and several relevant examples of how older people can support younger families, which gives it a workable argumentative core. However, repeated copied prompt fragments severely interrupt progression, while the discussion only indirectly tackles the predicted social and economic problems; the highest priority is to remove those fragments and develop a direct, carefully organised rebuttal of the stated consequences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with relevant benefits, although the predicted social and economic problems are addressed only indirectly.
Directly examine the claimed future burdens and explain why each would be offset or avoided.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and basic sequencing are apparent, but repeated prompt fragments break continuity and linking is mechanical.
Delete every repeated fragment and use complete topic sentences to create cleaner progression between ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient to express the main argument, but frequent awkward collocations such as have gossips and future perspective reduce precision.
Choose natural collocations and check countability and word form when describing money, conversations, and experience.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, capitalisation, and sentence-boundary errors weaken control.
Prioritise complete sentences and consistent subject-verb agreement before adding more complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The aging population of more developed countries is going to cause social and economic problems for society in the future, especially for the younger generation. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.