Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
In recent years, an increasing number of people with health problems have preferredIn recent years, an increasing number of ill people prefer alternative medicines and treatments over conventional medicineconventional medical treatments. This trend may have some benefitspositive sides but thesethey are insignificant compared to its drawbacksnegative side. Therefore, I strongly believe that it is a negative development.
Alternative medicines and treatments are often not backed by scientific evidence. Many of these treatments are based on ancient practices or anecdotal evidence, and therefore their effectiveness and safety are not guaranteed. Patients who opt for such treatments risk their health and well-being by avoiding treatments that are proven to work. For instance, some people who use alternative medicine to treat chronic illnesses such as canceropt for alternative medicines for chronic illnesses like cancer may put their health at risk.
Moreover, the use of alternative medicines can result in delayed access to proper medical caredelays in receiving proper medical care. In some cases, patients choose to forego or delay necessary medical treatments in favour of alternative options, which can result in the progression of their illnessprogression of their illness or condition. This can lead to complications, higher medical costs, and even death in severe cases. One example of the negative impact of relying solely on alternative medicine is Steve JobsAn example of the negative impact of relying solely on alternative medicines is the case of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple Inc. Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He initially chose to rely on alternative medicine and delayed conventional medical treatment. By the time he soughtBy the time he eventually sought medical intervention, it was too late.
In conclusion, while the use of alternative medicines and treatments may seem appealing to some and be increasingly popularmay seem like an appealing option for some and its popularity is increasing, it is ultimately a negative development. It is therefore essential to educate the public on the risks associated with alternative treatments and to prioritize the use of evidence-based medical treatments.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear negative position and develops it through two focused reasons, supported by a specific and relevant real-world example. Its main limitation is some repetition of the central terms and a few minor agreement or collocation lapses that slightly reduce polish. The highest-priority improvement is to vary recurring language and make the first argument more analytical by explaining the consequences of unverified treatment in greater depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and fully maintained, with two relevant reasons that are well explained and supported.
Deepen the first reason with a more specific explanation of how unverified treatments can cause harm rather than repeating the general risk.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphled, and cohesively connected without distracting overuse of linking devices.
Strengthen the connection between the two body arguments by clarifying that delayed care is a distinct consequence of relying on unproven treatment.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary supports the argument effectively, despite repetition of alternative medicines and a few less natural phrases.
Use controlled synonyms and replace phrases such as positive sides and negative side with more natural formulations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and mostly error-free, with only isolated agreement and phrasing problems that do not impede communication.
Correct pronoun agreement in this trend may have some positive sides but they are insignificant and streamline the final complex sentence.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.