Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that children should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Sample Response
Art and music are regarded as some of the cornerstones of all societies. Despite the emergence of advanced technologytechnologies, these artistic forms are still deeply embeddedingrained in our societies as they have therapeutic valuepower, and I think children ought to devote time to learning art and music at school because they encourage creativity.
Art and music have a remarkable capacity to healan amazing capacity to heal, offering comfort and solace to people experiencing mental health issuespeople dealing with mental health issues. This is because they have the natural ability to stimulate the brain and therefore release endorphins, natural painkillers produced by the bodya natural painkiller produced by the body. Thus, art and music can help people feel more relaxed and ease the distresspain they may be experiencing. For example, there is a large body of research indicatingresearch which indicates that art therapy is particularly advantageous for people facing mental health conditions such asmental health conditions like anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. It provides individuals with an engaging way to address trauma and emotional pain, alleviating emotional distressstates.
I believe that children should spend a reasonable amount of time learningspend a reasonable time learning art and music at school. This is because they can enhance creativity and critical thinking skills. That is to say, art and music develop creativity, inspiring children to devise new ideas and think laterallydevise new ideas and lateral thinking. By learning art and music, students can acquire problem-solving abilities, sharpen critical thinking skills and increase their capacity to approach challenges from several perspectives. When composing a piece of music, for instance, a child has to make creative choices and consider how different components work together.
In conclusion, I believe that art and music still have great significance in our contemporary world of technology due to their therapeutic value in treating mental illness. Therefore, children should dedicate more time to learning art and music at school because they encourage creativity and critical thinking.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its direct, well-developed treatment of both questions, with focused explanations and specific support for the therapeutic and educational value of the arts. The main limitation is some repetition of ideas and wording, alongside a few imprecise expressions that slightly reduce sophistication. Improve further by making the relationship between art, music, and a technology-dominated world more explicit and by varying repeated language with equally precise alternatives.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions receive clear, well-developed answers supported by relevant explanation and a specific educational example.
Explain more explicitly why the identified benefits remain especially important in a technology-dominated world.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used effectively throughout.
Reduce repeated causal framing and vary how supporting points are introduced to make progression still more seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide, precise academic vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional repetition or slightly imprecise phrasing.
Replace repeated references to 'art and music' where clarity permits and refine expressions such as 'alleviating emotional states.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used flexibly and accurately, with the great majority of sentences error-free.
Polish the few awkward parallel constructions while maintaining the response's strong variety and control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies, and some suggest that children should learn them at school. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.