Write about the following topic Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is claimed that overeating causes similar damage to human health as smoking, so it is necessary to implement the prohibition of advertisements for both some food products and smoking. In my opinion, the former view is well-founded, yet the latter seems to be rather unreasonable.
It is clear thatIt is totally understandable that consuming an unnecessarily large amount of food is detrimental to people’s healtha detriment to people’s health conditions, just aslike smoking is. In fact, excessive food intake increases body fat, potentially resulting in obesity. In recent years, the number of obese people has been growing at an unprecedented rateconstantly growing at an unprecedented rate as a consequence of overeating. Furthermore, consuming unhealthy foods such as fast food or processed foodsfood on a regular basis also causes numerousbrings about numerous health-related problems, such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol. Health problemsIssues regarding people’s state of health caused by eating too much are certainlyfor sure comparable with smoking-related conditions such as lung cancerthose caused by smoking, for example, lung cancer.
However, I do not think it is an effective solution to banforbid advertisements for certain food productsseveral particular foodstuffs. It is unfair to manufacturers because advertising is their main means of reachingmain measure to approach prospective customers and introduce their new products to the market. Without publicity materials, many food manufacturers would face financial difficultiesexperience crises because their profits would declineas their profits declined as a result of such a banthis prohibition policy. Furthermore, it disadvantages consumersit is a disadvantage to consumers because they will not be informed about the products they want to buy. It is true that advertising encourages people to buy productspurchase things, but it only has only a minor influence on how much food people consumeplays a small part in the amount of food intake, which is mainly determined by consumers themselves.
In conclusion, I agree that the harm caused by overeating is comparable to that caused by smokingthe way overeating harms human health is similar to smoking, whereas it seems to me that advertising of food products should not be banned.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response establishes a clear, nuanced position and develops it through a logically organised discussion of health damage and the practical objections to an advertising ban. Its main limitation is reliance on generalised claims, especially about manufacturers' crises and consumers' access to information, alongside several unnatural expressions. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the causal evidence for why a ban would be ineffective and express those claims with more idiomatic, precise collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses the proposed comparison and ban, maintains a clear position, and supports both parts with relevant reasoning.
Develop the objections to the ban with more specific evidence and test them against the public-health rationale for greater analytical depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through a conventional paragraph structure, and cohesive devices generally support rather than disrupt the reasoning.
Create tighter links between successive claims within each body paragraph instead of relying so heavily on additive transitions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and sufficiently precise for the topic, though several collocations such as approaching customers through a main measure sound unnatural.
Choose more idiomatic business and health collocations, particularly when describing advertising, consumer choice, and commercial consequences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally strong control, and the minor errors do not impede communication.
Polish article use and the structure of comparison clauses to make complex sentences consistently natural and exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Write about the following topic Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.