Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a car.
Sample Response
People need different modes of transportation to move from one place to another. In ancient timesIn the ancient time, they used horses and donkeys for this purpose and to carry their loads. With the development of technology, people invented novel things such as cars, trains, aeroplanes, ships, and this developmentships and this development has further enhanced the flexibility and convenience of transportation. Out of these vehicles, the private car is one of the best and most preferred vehicles for people to commute from one place to another but not without consequences. Private cars have many advantages. Due to this, people who can afford a private car, want to own it. People on low incomesPeople with low-income class also dream of owning a cardream to own a car one day. This simple phenomenon shows how advantageous owninghow advantageous of owning a private car can be. With a private car, people can plan their own journey, go somewhere whenever they want, take diversions to avoid heavybad traffic, avoid long queues for ticketslong queue for ticketing and enjoy maximum flexibility and privacy during a comfortable journeythe utmost flexibility and privacy of a soothing journey. This is a valuable benefita very handy thing in emergenciesin the emergency cases. For example, when someone gets sick, his family members can easily take him to a hospital regardless of the time. Finally, owning a private car offers someone the freedom to enjoy his time during the journey while it is quite impossible on a public bus. HoweverOn the contrary, private car ownership has many demerits as well. It is far more expensive than public transportation. The costs of fuel, hiring a driver, licensing, insurance, maintenance, and repairscost of fuel, driver, licence, insurance, maintenance, repairing etc. will often increase the monthly expensesexpense for a family. Furthermore, Privatethose cars produce harmful gases such as CO2 and COtoxic gas such as greenhouse gases, CO2 and CO that are harmful to human healththe human health and the environment. Private cars are the main reason for congestion on the roads and the increasing environmental pollution. To sumsome up, I think the private car is a very useful vehicle that offers more advantages than demerits to its owner. However, the environmental issues due to excessive use of cars should not be ignored and we should use private cars only when necessaryabsolutely when it is necessary and at other times, we should use public transportations.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear view that private cars offer greater benefits and supports it with detailed points about flexibility, privacy, emergencies, expense, congestion, and pollution. Its argument is relevant and easy to follow, but the historical opening is longer than necessary, the one-block layout weakens organisation, and several awkward expressions reduce precision. Prioritise clear paragraphing and more natural academic collocations while retaining the effective practical examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses both sides, sustains a clear position, and develops the principal advantages and disadvantages with relevant detail and an example.
Shorten the historical background and explicitly explain why the practical benefits outweigh the environmental and financial costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly from advantages to disadvantages and a qualified conclusion, but one-block presentation and repetitive sequencing reduce readability.
Use distinct introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion paragraphs, each centred on one stage of the argument.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, but several awkward collocations and countability choices reduce naturalness.
Use phrases such as in ancient times, low-income people, avoid heavy traffic, queue for tickets, in emergencies, and public transport.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex sentences is used and meaning remains clear, though errors in articles, agreement, comparison structures, and punctuation recur.
Proofread long sentences for complete parallel structures and accurate noun phrases, especially descriptions of people, costs, and emissions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people claim that there are more disadvantages of the car than its advantages. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a car.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.