Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Sample Response
Electronic transactions are gradually replacing the cash-based payment systemtraditional banking system, and the use of cashbanknotes is being supplanted by credit and debit cards. The transformation toward a cashless society might be slow but is steady and widespreadmight be slow, but steady and widespread. This paradigm shift has both positive and negative aspects, and this essay examines both aspectsdeals with both of them.
One major advantage of the use of plastic money is that it is more convenientthey are more convenient and enable transactions on the goare processed on the go. People neither have to carry large amounts of casha bulk amount of cash nor write a cheque, whichcheck - which usually takes a couple of days to clearclear the payment. Moreover, the electronic payment system is globalglobal in nature and hassle-free. Consequently, the e-commerceeCommerce industry has flourished and many individuals have their own online businesses without any brick and mortar shops. For instance, nowadays it has become easypretty easy to shop with a VISA or a Master card, virtually from anywhere in the world. Personally, I hate standing in a long queue to pay my utility bills, and my cards let me do it from home - a time saver indeed. Plastic card payments doPlastic card payment does not come without negative aspects. Although we can use these cards due to technological advancement, the risks of using plastic money, however, pertain to this technology. The primary threat to this payment methodsuch payment mode is cybersecurity and hacking. For example, once a credit card is cloned or its sensitive data is hacked, the owner would suffer a great financial loss. A technology giant like Facebook has failed to protect its user data, for example, and the misuse of user data is a global concern. The same goes for plastic cards and online payment systems that have the same vulnerability. To conclude, despite some adverse effects, the use of plastic money for making and receiving payments is the need of the hour. It provides a plethora of advantages but we have to be careful of its use.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages with a clear line of argument, relevant examples, and generally varied language. Its main limitation is organisation: the advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion are compressed into one long paragraph, while several claims and expressions lack precision. Separate the discussion into purposeful paragraphs and develop the disadvantage side with more specific explanation and a directly relevant example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the issue are addressed with a range of relevant ideas and supporting examples, although the disadvantages are less fully developed.
Develop the cybersecurity drawback more precisely by explaining its consequences and using an example directly tied to card payments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically overall, but placing both sides and the conclusion in one long paragraph weakens the organisation.
Use separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, followed by a distinct conclusion, with clearer transitions between them.
Lexical Resource
A varied vocabulary communicates ideas effectively, though several collocations and word choices are imprecise or unnatural.
Choose more exact combinations such as carrying a large amount of cash and processing a payment, and avoid vague technology-related phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is generally controlled, with occasional article, agreement, and punctuation errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread noun phrases and clause boundaries, especially articles, singular-plural agreement, and punctuation around inserted examples.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.