Children's lives these days are quite different from our generation's. Describe what are the biggest changes in younger generation and explain some factors of this phenomenon.
Sample Response
Over the past few decades, the world has significantly changed. Nowadays, many people havemany have begun to wonder what the reasons for these changesbehind [=for] these changes are. Two major factors contributing to this phenomenon are advances in media and changes in family dynamicschange family dynamics [=organization]. First, advances in media, such as the Internet and TV, have meant that children spend much of their leisure timespend a large portion of their leisure time in front of a screen. Consequently, they are not getting enough exerciseproper amounts of exercise, which results in an increase in childhood overweight and obesityan increase in the number of children who are overweight and obese. In addition, fast food restaurants have become increasingly popular, which has also contributed to children's health problems.children's health problems AnotherMoreover, another leading causeforce of this trend is the changeis changes in the family unit. Compared with a half century ago, nuclear families have become way more common in modern society. People tend to have only one child, a trend that has been linked towhich has caused problems such aspersonality disorders such as depression, loneliness, and selfishness. These effects may occur becauseThis is mainly because parents of an only childparents with one child have a tendencyhave tendency to devote all their attention and money toput all their focus and money into their only childtheir only son or daughter. Studies have indicated that over 65% of children who are brought up without siblings show self-centered behavior find it difficult cooperating with their peers. In summary, there are many factors that have caused children to live very differently from the way the previous generation liveddifferently from the generation before them. There are high hopes that parents exercise(s) wisdom in treating their children.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in giving relevant, extended explanations of how screen-based media and smaller families affect children's health and behaviour. Its main limitation is that the distinction between the biggest changes and the factors causing them is sometimes blurred, while the single-block presentation weakens organisation. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the changes from their causes in clearly structured paragraphs and support each causal link precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response identifies relevant changes and factors and explains several consequences, but it does not always distinguish the observed changes from their causes and is slightly under length.
State the principal changes explicitly, then devote a separate explanation to the factor responsible for each one.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion follows a recognisable sequence and uses clear linking devices, but presenting all ideas in one paragraph obscures the shift between media and family influences.
Divide the response into an introduction, one paragraph for each major change and cause, and a focused conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A varied topic-specific vocabulary supports detailed discussion of media, health, family structure, and behaviour, despite some awkward or imprecise combinations.
Refine collocations such as changes in family dynamics and a tendency to, and remove source-editing notation from the final response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, though missing words, faulty coordination, and agreement errors occur repeatedly.
Check each complex sentence for complete clause boundaries, determiners, and coordinated verbs, especially in the claims about only children.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children's lives these days are quite different from our generation's. Describe what are the biggest changes in younger generation and explain some factors of this phenomenon.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.