Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the increasing prevalence of overweight among children and adultsrate of overweight children and adults is a worldwide health issue. Obesity is a major problem which is becoming more commonincreasing day by day in school going children. There are various reasons behind it. This essay will discuss the causes of obesity and offer some solutions.
The first cause of obesity is junk food. It is often seen that mostmostly children are fond of burgers, pizzas, noodles and coke. These types of foodfoods are easily available to them in school canteens. Children love to purchase chips, chocolateschocholates, and ice cream- ice-cream for lunch. Moreover, todayin this modern era, many parents workparents are working and they do not have time to cook at home. Parents often buy dinner for their children instead of preparing food at home. This calorie-rich diet is making children obese. This problem can be solved by teaching children to cook healthy foods for themselves and banning junk foods and fizzy drinks in schools. This diet can be replaced by milk, juice and fruits for lunch.
The second cause of obesity is sedentarysedentry life style. It is true that the use of computers and television is increasing in children. They spend most of their time watching television or playing video games on a computer. This technological advancement has reduced the level of physical activity in this specific age group. This issue can be resolved by encouraging children to exercisedo physical exercises. Parents can take their children to the parkto park to encourage them to play with friendsencourage playing with friends. Furthermore, schools can includeadd sports in their curriculum to help their students maintain physical fitnessmaintain physical fitness in their students.
To sum up, it is clear that the main causesthat main causes of obesity are unhealthy eating and not enough physical activityactivities. This ailment can be prevented and treated by healthy eating habitshabbits and physical exercises.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both parts clearly and organizes two relevant cause-and-solution chains around diet and inactivity, with enough explanation to sustain the argument. Its main limitation is the noticeable pattern of spelling, article, preposition, and collocation errors, which reduces polish despite clear meaning. The highest priority is careful proofreading and more natural sentence phrasing, alongside slightly fuller explanation of how the proposed measures would work.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay covers both causes and solutions with relevant explanation, although some proposed measures could be developed more fully.
Explain how each key solution would change children's habits and why it would be practical or effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear cause-and-solution structure, with focused paragraphs and generally logical progression.
Use referencing and transitions to link related claims more smoothly and avoid repetitive paragraph openings.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic-specific range for clear expression, but spelling mistakes and several awkward collocations reduce precision.
Proofread high-frequency topic words and replace unnatural phrases with accurate collocations about diet, exercise, and schooling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a mix of sentence forms successfully, though recurring article, preposition, and noun-form errors remain noticeable.
Check articles, singular-plural forms, and prepositions systematically after drafting, especially in general statements about children.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.