Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Unlike before, younger ones give more time to computer games nowadays than participating in physical sports because it is stress-free and accessible to several games on the internet. However, I believe that it is a negativewrong development for childrenamong the children because it leaves little room fordoes not give room for physical activitypractice and healthy physical development.good body development.
In the first place, technology is fast taking over everything in the world’s whole nations, which is one reason children are doing away with physical involvement in sports. For instance, onlineinternet games require no stress before you play them. All you need to do is download a gameAll you need is download it onto your phone or laptopon your phones or laptops and begin to play it by pressing the device’s buttons or using a controllerpad. Such games are car racingrace, boxing, football, wrestling, etc. Furthermore, there is access to several sports events on the internet at the comfort of their homes, the reason they would not go to the pitch to search for any. For example, car racing is not a common sport, but it; meanwhile, this is available in different forms as a computer gameon the computer.
On the other hand, physical involvement in sporting activities is highly beneficialvery advantageous. It gives a chance for direct practicepractices and good body development, unlike when you are just viewing it on your computer. For example, playing football with teammatesother colleagues on the field increases your confidence, unlike pressing the buttons on your device.
In conclusion, it is a destructive development for the little ones to spendconcentrate more time on internet games than the sporting activities nowadaysin the present days because it denies them physical training and bodybuilding. After all, they will not be as strong as those who exercise regularlyexercise themselves always.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear negative position and a straightforward structure, and it addresses both why children prefer computer games and why this trend is harmful. However, the reasons and consequences are repetitive and only partly developed, while frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each main idea with a clearer causal explanation and a specific, natural example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers both questions and maintains a clear negative position, but its reasons and effects are only moderately developed and sometimes repetitive.
Explain each cause and harmful consequence in greater depth, using a distinct and clearly relevant example for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses through a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, although some linking is mechanical and the negative-effect paragraph is underdeveloped.
Use topic sentences and logical internal sequencing to build each paragraph around one fully developed central idea.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the argument, but frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise choices reduce flexibility and accuracy.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations such as accessible online games, physical exercise, and healthy physical development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, and clause construction limit accuracy.
Prioritise accurate sentence patterns, especially infinitive structures, article use, and agreement, before adding more complex clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. Why is it? Is it positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.