Children in some parts of the world today have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
In today's world, there is a growing trend towardsof children having fewer responsibilities than children in the pastless responsibility compared to children in the past. Personally, I believe it is a positive development for several reasons that I shall outline in this essay.
Firstly, reducing the burden of responsibility on children allows them to focus more on their education and personal development. In the past, children had to work from a young age to support their families, which often hindered their education and limited their opportunities in life. With fewer responsibilities, children can now dedicate more time and energy to learning, exploring their interests, and developing their skills.
Additionally, having less responsibility can reduce stress and promote children's mental healthmental health in children. The pressures of having to work and provide for their families can take a toll on children's mental and physical health, leading to stress and burnout. With fewer responsibilitiesBy having less responsibility, children can have more time to relax, play, and enjoy their childhood, which can lead to improved mental well-being.
Furthermore, as society evolves, the children's activities may shift from manual labourresponsibilities of children may shift from manual labour to more intellectual pursuits, such as technology or innovation. With a reduced workloadBy reducing their workload, children can have more time to explore these new fields and potentially contribute to the advancement of society. For example, in countries like Japan and South Korea, there has been a shift towards encouraging children to pursue interests in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields. This has led to the development of activitiesprogrammes such as coding classes and robotics clubs for children. Many children are excellingdoing excellent in these fields and preparing for further education and future careersgetting ready for their future education and career.
In conclusion, I believe that the reduction in children's responsibilitiesreduction of responsibilities on children is a positive development. It provides them with the opportunity to focus on their education, promotes mental health, and contributes to the advancement of society.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear, consistent view and develops three relevant benefits in a well-sequenced argument, with the education and mental-health points explained particularly effectively. Its main weakness is that the final STEM example does not fully prove that reduced responsibility causes wider social advancement, and occasional phrasing is imprecise. Make the causal link in that example more explicit and refine collocations to increase both persuasiveness and polish.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is sustained and supported by three relevant ideas, most of which are well developed.
Show more precisely how reduced responsibility leads to the STEM outcomes in the final body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is sequenced logically in focused paragraphs, and connections between claims and explanations are consistently clear.
Use subtler paragraph openings to make the progression feel less dependent on explicit enumerating linkers.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a flexible range of topic vocabulary with generally accurate and appropriate collocation.
Polish isolated phrases such as doing excellent and reduce repetition of less responsibility for greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and simple structures are combined confidently, with most sentences accurate and easy to follow.
Check adjective-adverb forms and singular-plural choices to remove the few remaining minor errors.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children in some parts of the world today have less responsibility compared to children in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.