In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
NowadaysIn these days and ages, one of the major problems faced by developed cities is traffic congestion due to the staggering numberamount of car owners in these areas. As a result, drivers are charged a fee before entering the city centre in some places. Undoubtedly, this policy certainly comes with some positive impacts on the traffic. It is evident that with an extra charge applied toupon driving into the city centre, drivers tend to become more serious while considering the necessity of entering the city centregetting into the town centre. Besides, activities like carpoolingactivities, like carpooling or taking public transportation, are also practised more often by people. Consequently, there would be a dramatic improvement in traffic conditionsimprovement on the traffic condition as congestion is likely to occur less frequently. However, in my opinion, the negative aspectsdetrimental sides of this policy definitely outweigh the benefits. First of all, it is logistically difficultlogistically out of the question for the government to install the required equipment as it involves plenty of funds. On the other hand, this policy would also directly increase the financial burden onof people. It is due to the fact that there are always people whose jobs require them to travel constantlywhose jobs need them to be constantly travelling around the city. While the rich drivers may be unaffected by this policy, those workers with an average incomean average amount of income would surely be troubled by the extra fee. To conclude, the solution mentioned above is too extremeway too extreme to be practised. In strong contrast, the government should provide free or low-cost public transportation into the city centre during peak hours so that it would end up benefiting more people.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear opinion, considers both sides of the charging policy, and supports its position with relevant effects on congestion, transport choices, and workers. Its main weakness is presentation: the entire argument forms one long paragraph, while the benefits receive less development and a few phrases are unnecessarily wordy. Divide the essay into clear functional paragraphs, expand the strongest benefit before weighing it against the drawbacks, and tighten awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses reasons for and against a city-centre driving fee and gives a clear opinion against the policy. The arguments are relevant, though the opposing side receives more emphasis and some claims about installation cost are not fully explained.
Balance the discussion by giving a little more detail on the strongest benefit, such as reduced congestion or pollution, before explaining why the disadvantages outweigh it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from background to benefits, drawbacks, and an alternative solution, but it is written as one long paragraph. Cohesion is generally clear despite the lack of paragraphing.
Divide the answer into four paragraphs: introduction, support for the policy, opposition to the policy, and conclusion with your alternative.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and mostly natural, with phrases such as traffic congestion, financial burden, public transportation, and peak hours. Some expressions are wordy or slightly unnatural.
Use concise academic phrases such as nowadays, car ownership, impose a charge, reduce congestion, and low-income workers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally controlled, with a range of complex clauses. Minor article, preposition, and phrase-choice errors occur but rarely affect clarity.
Edit fixed phrases and prepositions, especially in expressions such as nowadays, improvement in, and burden on people.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.