The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?
Sample Response
It has been arguedIt is has been argued that the tendency of peoplepropensity of masses to follow one another cancould be seen in the increasing number of fashionable items. I thoroughly agree with this statement because individuals are attracted toget attracted by trendy clothes worn by others to emulate themto be like them.
To commence with, imitating others compelscompel peoplemasses to follow prevailing fashion so that they can improve their appearancegroom their personality. They usually follow fashion icons, namely film actors who wear stylish attirewere stylist attires and improveimproved their image. As a resultResultantly youngsters follow them blindly, and they create greater demand for those productsdemand more of those products. In addition, copying others also developsdevelop their confidenceconfidence in them. In other words, there are people who develop an inferiority complex because of their complexion or short staturedue to their complexion and short stature.
Those individuals buy the clothes that are meant for them and particularly are worn by the famous personalities who had undergone such sufferings. Thus, they feel over the moon to wear such apparelsuch type of apparel. Furthermore, to build social status, people follow others. They purchase the same kind of products, such as expensive electronic gadgets that are widely advertised and frequently purchasedadvertised and purchased more. iPhones are gaining ground nowadays. Everyone loves to have the latest one, especially when theirhis/her favourite star displays it. Then the demand for these products automatically increases consequently its benefits the individuals as well as manufacturers.
To conclude this in consideration of the above analysis, it is ostensible that following others keeps people up to datefollowing others update the people, build their status quo and also increase the demand of products which are in vogue.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear agreement and supports it with several relevant ways in which imitation influences fashion and consumer choices. Its main limitation is that some ideas are loosely connected or insufficiently explained, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two central reasons with clearer cause-and-effect support and then edit systematically for agreement, verb forms, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees and offers relevant reasons involving fashion, confidence, status, and consumer goods, though some support is underdeveloped.
Select two main reasons and explain each through a precise cause-and-effect chain and a focused example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and signposting create broadly clear progression, but the split between the second and third paragraphs interrupts one idea and some links are mechanical.
Keep each explanation within one paragraph and use referencing and logical connections instead of relying heavily on formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied vocabulary conveys the argument, but inaccurate collocations and word choices such as expressions about attire, status, and updating people reduce precision.
Use more natural topic-specific collocations and check ambitious words against their exact meaning and grammatical pattern.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts both simple and complex sentences, but agreement, verb-form, article, and clause-control errors recur throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and verb forms, then proofread each complex sentence to ensure every clause is complete and correctly linked.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.