Encouraging the development of creative industries such as the production of video games and computer software is the best way to reduce youth unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
Sample Response
There has been a dramatic increase in the unemployment ratein unemployment rate in developing countries over the last few years. However, with the effective use of technological advancesadvancement, unemploymentthis gap could be reducedshortening to some extent. Information technology can play a significant role in the career development of young peopleof youngster by adopting software and game development as professionsby adapting software and game development as their profession. I strongly believe that thesethose new industries substantially help young people build better careershelp youth in better careers and open new horizons of opportunityopen new horizon of opportunities for them. Firstly, the start-up costs of such businessessetup cost of such industries is very affordable and feasible, as they requireas it required a computer and a few software programsa few software to start programming. This is not surprising that end products if fully developed could give them lucrative benefits and commercial gains. Moreover, youth can attract the attention of international customers by offering them low ratescheap rate and reliable services throughby the use of numerous freelancing websites over the internet. Those websites pay their users in dollars after deducting a small feeafter deducting a little charge for facilitating them. However, governments can also play a pivotal role in mitigating youth woes in many ways. They should offer loansloan to the educated people on low markup rate to start their own business. This will encourage youngsters to show their entrepreneurialentrepreneur skills and thrive in their field of choice. Secondly, there is a dire need to make rectification in the merit system, a large number of potential candidates deprived of getting jobs due to nepotism and favouritism by the authorities concerned. Finally, the government should generate new job vacancies in numbers proportionalproportion to population growth. To sum up, I would like to say that youngster could get numerous benefits by using new and dynamic industries. As all the institutions are going to computerised, making new and lucrative opportunities for people associate with game and software industries. Moreover, vocational training by the government in information technology and other industries would help in depletion of unemployment.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its range of relevant measures, moving from digital entrepreneurship to loans, fair recruitment, job creation, and vocational training. Its main limitation is that the claim that creative industries are the best solution is asserted more than evaluated, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. Prioritise directly comparing this approach with the proposed alternatives and editing sentences for agreement, articles, verb forms, and complete clause structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear favourable view and several relevant measures, but it does not sufficiently evaluate whether creative industries are the best solution.
Compare the proposed digital-industry approach directly with the other measures and support that judgement with clearer reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an understandable progression from creative industries to government action, though mechanical sequencing and several loosely connected clauses reduce fluency.
Organise each main measure into a focused paragraph and use logical links that show comparison, cause, and result precisely.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad topic-specific vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word-form choices sometimes blur the intended meaning.
Prioritise accurate common combinations for employment, entrepreneurship, loans, recruitment, and reducing unemployment before adding less familiar terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, plurals, and clause completion weaken control.
Edit each sentence for a complete main clause, then check subject-verb agreement, countable nouns, and verb patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Encouraging the development of creative industries such as the production of video games and computer software is the best way to reduce youth unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.