Some people think that being creative during your time off is helpful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and express your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that living with so much uncertainty is hard, so each and every segment of life will consume inappropriate manner. A section of society asserts that using leisure time productivelyutilising leisure time in productivity has many benefitshas more merits. Although many may see a positive phenomenon, it is a note on-trend without drawbacks. Both merits and demerits will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs, along with my opinionalong with opinions.
On the one hand, there are ample advantages to spending less time on recreational activitiesadvantages of consuming less time on the several recreational activities. Reanimate the brain in various things during spare time helps to improve the mental ability is an integral part, thus leads to enhancing the power of the nervous system in well mannered. In that case, the majority of individuals always remain busy at work as well as at homeremain busy in their work as well as in-home, which they do some possible changes in surroundings. For instance, in a recent survey conducted in India and New Zealandconducted in India New Zealand, those people get attached to the direction of errands, have significant improvement in their mental power and achieve better outcomes at workgive more positive outcomes in order to work rather than other people. The added advantage is that the routine of work without any short breaks also helps to develop innovative and cognitive skills, so they get more ideas and are able to multitask at the same time. Moreover, it is a tremendous opportunity to improve quality of liferefine the life quality and boost the potential for work, such as all researchresearchers scientists are not willing to take off during their work, even they always get engaged with the experiment to ameliorate outputs.
Despite the advantages above, the main problem iswith that, without any break, life may become monotonous, and people may develop mental disorderslife would become mundane and gains some mental disorder which may cause individuals to suffer fromthat leads to the individual will suffer from drastic mental and physical health consequencesmental and health consequences in future. In additionAccording to this, the muscles in the human body also need proper relaxation and rejuvenate the power for the tasks. For instance, according to a doctor's advicedoctor’s advisory, the body needs a short break after a long time of working hours much crucial in human development and reattained concentration in work. To add it, the family interactionintention is a most prominent issue in today’s society, while the always interacting with work leads few family disturbance and unable to get intimate with the presence of mind, so the bond between getting weak and would be deprived of abundant abilities in their day to day life.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down and say that doing and getting busy in spare time will improve memoryboost the memory of the brain and improve their thinking skills. Therefore, excessive engagement with worktoo much get engage with work in spare time also has a negative impact on the brain, and this practice is not compatible with human life.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable advantages-and-disadvantages structure and attempts to support each side with explanations and examples. Its central weakness is that it largely discusses constant work and the absence of breaks, only loosely addressing creativity during leisure time, while frequent language errors obscure several points. Reframe both sides around specific creative activities and express a clear personal judgement in shorter, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are presented, but the response substantially shifts from creativity in free time to working continuously, and the final opinion is unclear.
Define creative leisure activities, develop their specific benefits and drawbacks, and state an unambiguous opinion that directly answers the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the main sections, but progression within paragraphs is weakened by unclear references, loosely connected examples, and overlong sentences.
Give each body paragraph one precise controlling idea and develop it through a simple claim, explanation, and directly relevant example.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations make meaning strained or unclear.
Use familiar words accurately and learn natural combinations such as 'spend leisure time creatively', 'improve concentration', and 'maintain family relationships'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms regularly make meaning difficult to follow.
Build reliable simple and compound sentences first, then add one clearly controlled subordinate clause at a time.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that being creative during your time off is helpful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and express your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.