Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
Economic development is one of the crucial measuresmeasurements of the degreeto evaluate the degree of social wellbeing in a society. In the race to achieverace for achieving economic benefits, peopleeconomic benefits man has to pay the price of losing social valuesthe price of loss of social values. Nonetheless, the pros of economic advancement outweigh its cons.
It is irrefutable that through economic developmentby the development of economy people can improve their quality of life. For example, in the USAin USA even the poorest of the poor havehas the basic amenities of life such as food, clothing and shelter. All the citizens enjoy a high levelenjoy high level of social welfare and they enjoy free medical care and free education. Even in countries like India and China, because international companiesInternational Companies have created many jobs and as a result, economic development has accelerated even further.
On the other hand, just as every rose has thorns,as every rose is accompanied by thorns, similarly in the quest for economic growth, social values have taken a back seat. People have become greedy and selfish and have no time for each other. The younger generationYoung generation has started following global culture and therefore they have forgotten moral values and do not respect their elders. People have become workaholics and so find it difficult to strike a balance between work and family life.
What is more, people resort to unethical means to achieve economic prosperityunethical means to enjoy their economic prosperity. In other words, economic growth causes people to seek other undesirable excuses to obtain satisfaction. Even in the business world, colleagues are not as cooperative as they were in earlier timesnot co-operative as in earlier times. As a result, the relationships among people in societyrelationship of the people in the society is much worse than that in the past. A money-oriented societyMoney-oriented society is not a very pleasant society to live in. No wonder, in the developed countries, many peopledeveloped countries many people are downshifting and refusing promotions to devote time to their families and communitiesgive time to their family and society.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, economic development is a good thing and the people enjoy a better standard of living but there is some loss of social values. The onus is on individualsonus is on the individuals to strike a balance between work and leisure to get all the advantages of economic development without losing social valueswithout the loss of social values.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is clearly organized and offers a relevant range of social costs alongside a stated preference for economic development. Its main limitation is that the comparative judgment is asserted more strongly than it is demonstrated, since disadvantages receive much fuller development and some claims remain broad. The highest priority is to explain directly why the benefits carry greater weight, supported by balanced and credible evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and states that advantages outweigh disadvantages, but the decisive comparison is insufficiently developed and the disadvantages dominate the discussion.
Develop the benefits to equal depth and explicitly weigh their importance against the identified loss of social values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and the discussion progresses logically from benefits to social disadvantages and a concluding position, despite some formulaic transitions.
Use more precise logical links to show comparison and evaluation rather than relying on stock phrases such as on the other hand and what is more.
Lexical Resource
The response has a good topical range, but frequent awkward collocations and memorized-sounding expressions reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as crucial measurements and pen down saying with direct, idiomatic academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, though article, preposition, agreement, capitalization, and punctuation errors recur.
Edit systematically for articles and noun phrases, particularly forms such as the development of the economy and a high level of welfare.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development, however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.