Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion on this?
Sample Response
Nowadays, people are so busy with their daily livesoccupied with their lives that they can’t find time to cook a meal for themselves, and that is why they prefer eating junk food or packaged food items. Due to such eating habitssuch cravings, this generation is more prone to developing conditions such as obesity, diabetes, and heart diseasediseases like obesity, diabetes and heart problems. There are people who hit the gym or adopt a strict diet to lose weight. However, some people opine that everyone should address poor eating habits and unhealthy lifestyles before adoptingdedicating themselves to a strict diet or an exercise routine, and I agree with this view.
In my opinion, one needs to be aware of what they are eating and how they are managing their daily routinemanaging their routine life. This knowledge is crucial to make wholesome changes to their lifestyle. For example, one needs to monitor their eating habits. Eating packaged food or frozen food is of no help, as both containas it includes preservatives, chemicals and artificial flavours, which are not suitable for the human body. Rather than eating junk food, people should prefer cooking fresh meals with fresh ingredients in their kitchen. Eating fresh food will help them stay zestful and away from many diseases. Furthermore, they will get the required vitamins and nutrients as well.
There are various reasons why I believe that we should change our daily habitscontrol our routine habits to tackle obesity. Firstly, it is crucial to attack the root cause of the problem rather than treatingcuring its effects. The weight loss programs are mainly based on addressing the effectscontrolling the aftermath of a poor lifestyle. However, if the focus is only on diet and workout and does not address its root causes, which are excess consumption of junk food, improper sleep, work anxiety, isolation, etc., this health issue would not arise. For instance, most of our ancestors have had balanced body weights because they rely more on traditional foods, physical work, and simple living. ConsequentlyEventually, they did not go for expensive health regimes to lose extra weight.
However, many people do not concur with the above opinion. They argue that the ideal way to lose weight is only through special diets and exercise regimes in gyms. It also cannot be denied that most people rely on junk foodfoods like burgers and pizzas for their meals because it becomes the on-go meal for a working person. Ultimately, this leads to unnecessary weight gain. Moreover, improvements in lifestyle are also neededimprovement in lifestyle is also needed. Today many people are victimsall humans are a victim of stressful and irregular lifestylesstressful and haphazard lives. They don’t get time to eat at regular times or sleep adequatelyeat or sleep on time or correctly. These are the root causes of such a problem, so attention should be paid to eradicating obesity.
In the end, I would pen down to conclude by saying that a strict diet and an exercise regimen are beneficial to healthgood for life. However, it is essential to make adequate changes to our eating habits and lifestyle before adopting a diet or hitting the gym.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear opinion and offers several relevant ideas about diet, daily routines, and underlying causes of obesity. Its main limitation is repetition and uneven development, particularly in the supposed counterargument paragraph, which largely restates the writer’s own view, while some causal claims become unclear. The highest-priority improvement is to organize two distinct, fully explained reasons and remove contradictory or repetitive discussion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The opinion is clear and supported with relevant discussion, but several ideas repeat or contain weak causal reasoning.
Develop two distinct reasons in depth and ensure each example directly proves why lifestyle changes should come first.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognizable progression and clear paragraphing, although repetition weakens the movement of the argument.
Give each body paragraph one distinct purpose and revise the counterargument paragraph so it genuinely advances the discussion.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, but recurring unnatural collocations reduce precision and fluency.
Choose more conventional expressions for daily routines, convenience food, underlying causes, and concluding statements.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, tense, and clause-control errors recur despite generally clear meaning.
Proofread complex conditional and relative-clause sentences for subject agreement, consistent tense, and complete logical structure.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion on this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.