In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?
Sample Response
NowadaysIn recent days, it is quite common for young adults to take a breakyoung adults having a break time after graduating from secondary school. Some students travel during this year, while others work before entering universityIt is not the case of rich people choosing travelling as a destination while poor young adults prefer to work in spite of entering university for a period of time. I personally believe that there will be a number of positives and drawbacks in both cases.
The reasons for this issue may involve the recognition of limitedrestricting knowledge and experiences in entering university studies, comparedcomparison with deciding to work or take a journey which will give a broader view of life. The young adult will be better prepared for adult lifebetter on the resources of the personal life because for both cases are able to develop themselves as independent peopledevelop them as the independent people. Students deciding to workStudents deciding work or explore the beauty of the worldbeauty of world definitely gain some practical experiences and recognise the meaning of life rather than spending a lot of time on assignmentsspending much time with some papers or plenty of assignments.
On the other hand, the disadvantages of both cases perhaps make people no longer interestednot interested again in continuing their study. They may end their study because of enjoying their daily life. Moreover, they may face some problems in adapting to the academic environmentadapting academic environment after spending a lot of time in the workplace or travelwork field or adventures. Therefore they probably think that it is better to pursue a career in particular jobs or do something different which can make this life full of colours in spite of studying in university. However, it will be less of people deciding break because to obtain a better future academic qualification as a primary of requirements.
In conclusion, having off time for young adults after graduating secondary school is not a wrong decision. They may argue that spending time for gaining greater experiences is one way to enjoy this life before coming to the environment which has many differences from the previous study.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies plausible benefits and risks of a gap year and uses enough topic vocabulary to communicate its general argument. However, the position remains unclear, development is often vague, and frequent awkward sentence structures and word combinations sometimes obscure meaning. State a definite view, organise each body paragraph around one clear advantage or disadvantage, and express the supporting ideas in shorter, more natural sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses some advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, such as gaining experience and losing interest in study. However, the response does not clearly answer whether students should take a gap year, and several ideas are vague or difficult to connect to the task.
State a clear position in the introduction and conclusion, then develop one advantage and one disadvantage with concrete examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic four-paragraph structure, but progression is uneven because several sentences are hard to follow and the introduction contains confusing contrasts. Linking words are present, but they do not always show precise relationships between ideas.
Use one controlling idea per body paragraph: benefits of work or travel first, then risks of delaying university.
Lexical Resource
The topic vocabulary is sufficient to discuss work, travel, university, experience, and academic qualifications. Lexical control is limited by frequent unnatural phrases such as having a break time, beauty of world, work field, and primary of requirements.
Learn natural phrases for this topic: take a gap year, gain practical experience, return to academic study, and improve future prospects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors in sentence structure, articles, verb patterns, and noun phrases are frequent. Meaning is sometimes unclear, especially in the first two body paragraphs, though the general argument can still be followed.
Write shorter sentences with a clear subject and verb before adding comparison or contrast clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.