As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to total loss of cultural identity. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
We are living in an era of globalizationin globalization era and the whole world has becomewhole world become a global village. As a result, thereDue to this there are no barriers to communicatingcommunicate with each other as well as travel to different places. Some people argue that the identity of each cultureidentity of any culture will be totally lost due to globalization. I totally agree with this statement for numerous reasonsand numerous reasons behind it.
Firstly, everyEvery nation has its own cultural values, which are being erodedcultural value which is spoiling day by day due to globalization. When people migrate from developing countries to developed countries they encounterthen they see a different culture and lifestyledifferent culture and life style which is followed by local people. As a resultAs result of it, they try to adopt it to adapt more easily in that countrysurvive easily on that country. That’s why their own personal identitythe own identity of person or cultural values will not exist. For instance, mostmostly people adopt western culture such as cohabiting and living apart from their familiesliving relationship, live apart from family. So that people’s native culture will definitely affected in future.
Furthermore, persons when they travel to other countries then they communicate with other in foreign language because they think it put great impression on local person. That person’s native languageNative language of that person will suffer a lot. For example, people from developing countries, such as Indians,developing countries persons such as Indian also face this problem when they communicate with people in other countriescommunicate to other countries. However, globalization help to communicate to world wide so with the help of this people expand their business as well as gain knowledge about other countries.
To conclude, globalization help to improve the economy of world but it also loss personal identity as well as culture values.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay states a clear position and organises two relevant reasons around changing lifestyles and language, so its overall argument remains understandable. Development is limited by broad claims and vague examples, while frequent errors in articles, agreement, word forms, and collocation reduce precision. The highest priority is to build each main idea through a specific causal explanation and then edit sentences for basic grammatical completeness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported by two relevant ideas, but the explanations and examples remain general and only partly developed.
Explain exactly how adopting foreign lifestyles or languages would cause a total loss of cultural identity, using one specific example for each claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and an understandable progression, although linking is sometimes mechanical and references are occasionally vague.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and make pronoun references explicit so each sentence follows naturally from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss globalisation and culture, but frequent collocation and word-form errors weaken precision.
Replace inaccurate phrases such as “living relationship,” “put great impression,” and “loss personal identity” with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, plurals, auxiliaries, and prepositions persist throughout.
Prioritise complete subject-verb structures and third-person agreement, then check articles and prepositions sentence by sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to total loss of cultural identity. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.