Should governments or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools?
Sample Response
In modern day society, it is essential for a child to be educated so that they caneducated in order for him or her to succeedhave success later on in life. Children are typically educated in schools, which are run by the government. The government officials therefore decide what children are taughtwhat is taught to the children and what is not. Personally, I believe that it is better if governments are responsible for the subject matter covered in school and not the teachers.
It is a common goal to providesupply all children with the same opportunities in life, meaning that the same core knowledge should be taught to all children so that they receive the same benefitsto offer them the same benefits. Naturally, some children will perform better in certain subjectswill be better at certain subjects than others and will therefore obtain a deeper level of knowledgea more detailed degree of knowledge, yet every child should be taught the same core knowledge. Education provides opportunities becauseopportunities, because particular areas of studycertain types of education will enable children to pursue certain careers later on in life.
Supplying the same core knowledge is an essential concept, yet it has not been put into action in several countries. In Germany, for example, the syllabus taught depends on the region of the country. In certain regions, children attend school for thirteen years and in other regions for twelve years. This raises the question whether or not the children obtain the same degree of knowledge and that the children attending school for thirteen years are at an advantage compared to those attending school for twelve years. Already one can see that problems arise when the regional government decidesregional government decides upon the core knowledge taught to students. If teachers had a say in what knowledge should be taught to students, the subject matter would become even more complex. The core knowledge would vary not only from region to region but alsonot only vary from region to region, yet also from school to school, providing unfair advantages and disadvantages for certain students.
In conclusion, the government of a country should decide upon what knowledge is taught in schools, as the situation would become too complex if all teachers were responsible for this aspect.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops its case through a relevant argument about equal educational opportunity, supported by a specific national example. Its main limitation is that the central idea is repeated and the distinction between regional and national control is not fully clarified. Prioritize sharpening that comparison and trimming repeated references to core knowledge so the reasoning becomes more precise and persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear position and develops a relevant case for government control through explanation and an extended example.
Clarify why national government control would avoid the regional inconsistency described in the Germany example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from equal opportunity to a concrete illustration, with clear paragraphing and generally well-managed links.
Reduce repetition of core knowledge and make the transition from regional variation to teacher-led variation more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary supports the argument, although a few collocations and linking choices are slightly awkward.
Replace expressions such as a detailed degree of knowledge and yet also with more natural, exact alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Refine coordination in long sentences, especially the whether-or-not sentence, so every clause connects grammatically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should governments or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.