Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The globalization of business and culture has grown in recent years, and countries’ growing participation in these exchangescountries’ rising engagement in this has been met with both enthusiasm and apprehension. Some view these developments positivelySome regard it highly, while others are worried that it will lead to the loss of national identities. In this, I believe that improved business and cultural relations between countries are more likely to be positive.
There are several reasons to be concerned that an expansion of this practice will cause national identities to fade. Initially, a country too focused on cultural exchange may allow its media to be flooded with foreign products. This exposureneglect, in turn, can cause the country’s younger generationsaid country’s young generation to grow up without a concept of itstheir traditional culture. The same can be said for international trade, for which excessive enthusiasmwhere an eagerness for it can be counterproductive to national identity. If Vietnam were to completely abolish restrictions on rice imports, its domestic rice producers would face intense competitionits rice would experience intense competition from goods produced by other countries, such as Thailand, and as a result, the Vietnamese people might end up forgetting that Vietnam is well known for rice productionVietnam itself is popular for rice crops.
However, this trend is largely beneficialthis situation is largely a helpful development. A major reason for this view is that economic growth happens as countries exchange goods and services. HistoricallyIn history, nations which are deeply involved in trading with others have experienced prosperity, as opposed to those characterized by autarky. Increasing cultural contact between countries, meanwhile, fosters better understanding between different nationalities. People can learn about each other’s customs, develop respect for others’ ways of life, and seek to integrate positive values into their belief system, all thanks to cultural exchange. Therefore, an expansion of business and cultural relations would produce multi-pronged benefits.
In conclusion, while this matter can be interpreted as both advantageous and disadvantageous, I am more inclined to believe in its positive effectsits positivity. Nevertheless, it is important to strike a balance, so that nations can reap rewards from international trade and cultural exchange without sacrificing their own identitiesidentity.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its balanced, clearly signposted discussion and sustained control of complex language, with a consistent opinion throughout. Its main limitation is that a few supporting claims, especially the rice example, are somewhat speculative or loosely connected to the loss of national identity. The highest-priority improvement is to make each example more credible and explicitly explain how it proves the paragraph’s central claim.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed in depth, and the writer maintains a clear, qualified position supported by relevant ideas.
Strengthen the response by replacing the speculative rice example with evidence that more directly demonstrates how trade can erode national identity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion, with cohesion handled smoothly.
Make the internal links in the first body paragraph slightly tighter so each example develops the precise concern introduced in its topic sentence.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, with only occasional awkward choices such as “positivity” and “popular for rice crops.”
Prefer more natural collocations, such as “the benefits of international contact” and “renowned for rice production,” when expressing abstract or culturally specific ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, and the rare minor lapses do not impede communication.
Refine article, reference, and number choices in the few dense sentences to make already strong grammatical control even more exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.