The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?
Sample Response
It is true that the cost of travelling overseas has fallencost of travelling overseas has become cheaper these days and it has boosted the tourism industry in many countries. The growth in the tourism sector has its own benefits and drawbacks, and the followingdrawbacks and the following essay will discuss them in detail.
For a number of reasons, the development of the tourism industry brings a lot of benefits tofor many nations. Firstly, it creates a lot of job opportunities for the local people. As many hotels and restaurants are built along with tourist attractionsthe tourist attraction places, they employ many local peopleabsorb many local employments and reduce the unemployment rate. Secondly, thisthe development will also increase the country's income. As the number of tourists from overseas increases, they spend some money in hotels and restaurants and these transactions are subjectsubjected to tax.
On the other hand, the growth of this industry also brings some negative effects onto the country. As more tourists come to the countryare coming to the country, more tourist attractions are builtmore tourist attraction places are then built. Many of these places are builtmade in nature conservation areas, sowhereas some wild animals maywould lose their natural habitat and have a negative impactbring negative impact to the ecosystem as well. Some touristsAnd then some tourists also displaybring negative behaviours that affect the local culture. For example, in some Asian countries, people might not drink alcoholic beverages. However, as many westerners come to these countries and bring some liquor, many local peoplemany the local people are introduced to the beverage and startstarted to drink alcohol as well.
In conclusion, it is true that the growing trendit is true the growing trend of the tourism industry has a lot of benefits for many countries. However, it should be noted that it also brings some negative effects to these countries. I personally believe that it is the government'sgovernment task to make some clear regulations for the tourism sectorsectors, therefore all the positive sides of the industry outweighoutweighed the drawbacks.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its direct, balanced treatment of tourism's economic benefits and environmental and cultural drawbacks, with relevant explanations and an illustrative example. Its main limitation is recurring awkward language and grammatical error, especially in collocations, articles and sentence connections, although meaning remains clear. The highest-priority improvement is to express the same well-organised ideas with more natural vocabulary and consistently accurate complex sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both advantages and disadvantages are directly addressed, developed through relevant causal explanation, and supported with a clear example.
Make the evaluation more precise by qualifying broad cultural claims and tying the final recommendation more explicitly to the drawbacks discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into clear stages, with generally effective progression despite some mechanical or inaccurate connectors.
Replace formulaic sequencing and misused links such as whereas with conjunctions that state the intended cause, contrast or result exactly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses sufficient topic vocabulary and some variation, but recurrent unnatural collocations and word-form choices limit precision.
Use established expressions such as tourist attractions, local employment, tax revenue and environmental harm, and check countable nouns carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures are mixed effectively enough for clear communication, though article, agreement, tense and clause-linking errors recur.
Proofread each complex sentence for complete clause structure, consistent tense and accurate articles before adding further detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.