Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
While some people say job satisfaction is more importantessential than job security, there are those who claim that a permanent job is of greater significance. This essay discusses both sides of the argument and why I believe job satisfaction plays a more important role than job security.
On the one hand, some people believe a permanent job is more important because of the stability and credibility it brings. FinanciallyIn terms of finance, workers with a permanent job know their exact monthly incomeknow exactly their monthly income, and thus are able to plan their finances confidentlyin full control of their financial plan. As a consequence, they will no longer have to worry about short-term financial problems, such as bills and debts, and can focus oncould be fixated on other important matters like their career trajectory. In addition, staying loyal to one job enhances professional credibilityresults in higher credibility, as many employers view prioritizing job security as an indicator of organizational commitment. Gaining their employer's trustthe trust of employer opens up many opportunitiesopens many opportunities for promotion and additional perks, be it bonuses or extra days offextra day-offs.
On the other hand, there are several reasons why job satisfaction is believed to be more important than job security. Workers gain satisfaction when their needsA worker gains satisfaction when his needs and desires are fulfilled. For example, Google provides gym, climbing walls, or video gaming machines in most of its offices to suit its employees' different needs and preferencesdifferent needs and desires of its employees. Once satisfied, workers are less likely to suffer from work stress or burnout, enhancing productivity and employee morale. As for employers, keeping their employees satisfied is an effective way to reduce employee turnoverreduce turnover rate. A person who is satisfied with their job is less likely to be job seeking, and making it easier for companies to recruit and retain talents.
In conclusion, while some people believe job security plays a more significant role because of financial stability and work credibility, I side with those who believe the importance of job satisfaction exceedsexceed that of job security, as satisfied employees are more likely to be productivemore likely to be more productive and committed to the organization.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response discusses both views in a balanced structure and states a clear preference for job satisfaction, supporting each side with several relevant consequences. Its main weakness is that some reasoning equates permanence with loyalty and some examples only partly demonstrate genuine job satisfaction, while recurring collocational and grammatical slips reduce polish. Prioritize sharper conceptual support and more accurate control of articles, agreement, and word forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are clearly addressed, with relevant development despite a few debatable or loosely connected examples.
Distinguish job permanence from employee loyalty and use an example that demonstrates satisfaction with the work itself more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is logical, and ideas progress clearly within and between the two sides of the discussion.
Tighten the internal progression of examples so each one directly advances the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response shows good range in discussing employment and workplace outcomes, but several collocations and word forms are inaccurate.
Use more natural forms such as days off, employee turnover, seeking another job, and retaining talent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used with generally good control, though article, agreement, and clause-linking errors recur.
Proofread subject-verb agreement, noun articles, and coordination, particularly in sentences containing added result clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.