Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In today’s worldtoday’s modern world, although there are a number of countries thatwho have become rich and more affluent by following the advancement of technologydevelopment and advancement of technology, there are still some nations thatwho have remained poor. Therefore, some people assert that rich countries have an obligation to offer jobs to talented and wise workers who come from the poor countries, which I strongly agree with.
There are several reasons which influence my view. To begin with, the act of allowing jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees from poor countries by rich nations is considered to be an effective way to help the poor countries and it will indirectly strengthen the relationship among nations. It is important to ensure there will not be an occurrence of war between the nations which may have negative effects on the people’s lives, for example, it may even cost many innocent lives. By maintaining the close relationship between the countries by offering jobs to employeesby offering jobs for the employees from poor countries, the citizens in both nations can live in peace and serenity.
Another factorThe following factor that supports the idea of offering jobs to employees from poor countries by rich nations is that it could prove useful in helping the poor countries, especially developing countriesthe third world countries to reduce povertyreduce the cases of poverty. By offering jobs to the citizens from poor nations, they are able to support their familiesfamily financially when they return to their home countriesget back to their home countries. As the proverb saysAs proverb said, kill two birds with one stone, this action is believed to be beneficial to both sides, it will not only helpnot only it will help the poor countries to tackle poverty and starvation problems, but will also helpbut also will help the rich nations to continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to come. This is becauseThis is mainly due to the reason that the talented and intelligent employees from poor countries can make sustained contributions to the rich countriescontribute endlessly to the rich countries.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that rich countries should offer jobs to employeesallow jobs for the employees from poor nations who are talented and intelligent for the reasons discussedowing to numerous factors. I believe the poor nations will soon become richer as long as the rich countries are willing to support themlend them a helping hand.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and offers two identifiable reasons, with the discussion of remittances and mutual economic benefit providing its strongest support. However, the peace-and-war argument is speculative, and repetition and awkward language reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer claims through clearer cause-and-effect reasoning and specific, realistic support while editing sentence structures for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and supported by two relevant reasons, though the first is speculative and both arguments need fuller, more convincing development.
Build each reason around a precise causal chain and support it with a realistic example instead of broad claims about peace or national prosperity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but repeated wording and some overloaded sentences make the argument feel mechanical.
Use concise topic sentences and vary referencing so each paragraph advances the argument without repeatedly restating jobs, rich countries, and poor countries.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably broad vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations such as allowing jobs and contribute endlessly weaken naturalness and precision.
Prioritise accurate collocations such as offer employment, reduce poverty, and contribute expertise rather than using ambitious expressions that do not fit the context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning, although article, clause, and sentence-construction errors recur throughout.
Edit long sentences into controlled units and practise article use, relative clauses, and paired structures such as not only...but also.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.