It is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions could be taken to solve the problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, residents in urban areas find it challenging to participate in physical activities. This essay will initially explain why this is happening, followed by some strategies to tackle this issue.
There are primarily two reasons whyfactors behind why people do not get enough physical exercisedo sufficient physical exercise. To begin with, they are busy with their work commitments. To make more money and gain a promotiongain promotion, employees always work extra hours, feeling exhausted and lacking the energy to exercise. Even on weekends and holidays, they prefer activitiessomething that helps them unwind. Additionally, free sports equipment in the neighbourhood cannot meet residents’ needssatisfy residents’ demands. The land in cities is mainly occupied by commercial buildings and residential blocks, leaving limited space for sports facilities that many people cannot accessto which many people can have no access. Also, they are reluctant to pay for a gym membershipa membership to a gym and thusthus, cannot gethave enough exercise.
To resolve this problem, several approaches can be adopted. First,The first one is that employers ought to provide their employees with a better work-life balance. In other words, if individuals do not work long hours, they are more likely to spare some time to do sports on a regular basis, instead of focusing merely on their work tasks, which is beneficial to both their physical and psychological health. Another important point to consider is that the government should allocate a proportion of the budget to the construction of sports facilities in the local community. This will greatlyconsiderably encourage more residents to be willing to take part in some sports activities because the facilities make exercise free and convenientas it makes it free for them to exercise as well as more convenient.
In conclusion, being occupied by work and a lack of exercise equipment are the two major reasons why city dwellers are unable to do enough physical activities. However, if people can enjoy a balance between work and life, and sufficient exercise facilities can be made available near where they live, this issue can be coped with in an effective fashion.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear, balanced coverage of two causes and two corresponding solutions, with ideas developed through relevant explanation. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in phrasing and somewhat general support, especially around access to facilities. The highest-priority improvement is to use more exact cause-and-effect language and add a specific example or fuller explanation for each principal point.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both parts directly, presents relevant causes and solutions, and develops each main idea clearly.
Support the principal causes and solutions with more specific examples or consequences to deepen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, paired cause and solution paragraphs, and an effective conclusion.
Make links between individual causes and their corresponding solutions more explicit and avoid occasional overlong sentences.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently broad vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, though several collocations and expressions are imprecise or awkward.
Choose more natural combinations such as access to sports facilities and reduce inflated phrases such as in an effective fashion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with generally strong control and only occasional non-impeding awkwardness.
Refine relative clauses and sentence attachments so that complex ideas remain precise and easy to follow.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and what solutions could be taken to solve the problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.