Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
The widespread use of mobile phonesomnipresence of mobile phones in daily life has become increasingly noticeablehas certainly been noticeable, if not glaringly obvious in most situations. Some even go soas far as to suggest that mobile phones should be banned in public places. I personally disagree with this statement.
Admittedly, it is not hard to see the reasoning behind this proposed ban onof smartphones, which is mainly to do with a concern for preserving the atmosphere in public spacespreserving public atmosphere. In fact, these devices’ bright blue lightthe device’s artificial bright blue-light and disruptive notification soundsnerve-racking notification alarms become so commonplace that they become obtrusiveborder on obtrusiveness in certain cases. For example, in settings that require the absence of visual and aural disturbancedemand absence of visual and aural disturbance, such as libraries, the presence of smartphones is highly distracting for those trying to concentrate. As such, a ban on smartphones would help ensure the intended atmospherespirits and activities of such public spaces are maintained.
Despite this concernGiven the argument above, mobile phones should not be banned outrightmobile phones should not entirely be banned in public spaces. The main reason for this is that many public places, because they are dynamic environmentsdue to their inherent dynamic nature, are not only unaffectednot only are unaffected by the presence of smartphones but also may require the use of such devicesnecessitate the use of such devices. Specifically, on public transport, typically trains and buses, passengers opt to keep their mobile phones with themkeep mobile phones alongside themselves in case of an emergency or accident. Likewise, while shoppingin a shopping scenario, a mobile phone would certainly prove useful in the event of a robbery or a fire. Besides the aforementioned emergency situations, mobile phones offer users great convenience in public places, in the form of entertainment while waiting or as a means of payment instead of cashas a means of transaction in lieu of actual cash.
In conclusion, though there is no denying the intrusiveness of smartphones in certain places, such as libraries, a blanket ban on smartphones in all public spaces would seem rather absurd.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response advances a clear, nuanced disagreement and is especially effective in organising the concession and counterargument into a coherent line of reasoning. The main weakness is that some supporting examples, particularly the emergency scenarios, are asserted more than analysed, while several sophisticated phrases sound unnatural. The most valuable improvement would be to explain more precisely why regulated phone use is preferable to a blanket ban across the named settings.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition directly, sustains a clear position, and considers both the rationale for restrictions and the case against a blanket ban.
Explain more fully how the examples demonstrate that limited regulation would be more appropriate than a complete ban.
Coherence and Cohesion
The concession, counterargument, and conclusion form a clear logical progression, and cohesion is controlled throughout.
Strengthen the link between the emergency examples and the broader claim about unrestricted phone use.
Lexical Resource
The response shows considerable lexical range, but awkward collocations such as preserving public atmosphere and intended spirits reduce precision.
Prefer natural, specific phrasing over elaborate expressions whose collocations are uncertain.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences and embedded clauses are used flexibly, with only occasional awkwardness in word order and parallel structure.
Review parallel constructions, particularly patterns using not only and but also, to keep clause structure balanced.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.