Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

1

A group of people believe that scientific approaches and advanced technology in agriculturalagriculture activities brings a lot of benefits to societybenefits for societies, while others still maintain traditional ways. Both views have their own advantages and disadvantages, and the following essay will discuss these views in detaildiscuss in details, but in my opinionmy personal opinion, I do believe that traditional methodsthe old-fashioned ways are better. To begin with, many farmers are using technology and scientific approaches to managing their farms these days. They believe that by using technology such as tractors and dozers or using advanced chemical fertiliser, it will increase their productivity. However, many people do not realise that the useusage of these advanced technologiesadvanced technological approaches has some side effects. For example, many fruits and vegetables that use pesticides have caused allergic diseases in human beings. Furthermore,And then, the overuseover usage of pesticides in farming has made pests becomebecame more immune and made the ecosystem becomebecame imbalanced. On the other hand, some farmers are still using the old-fashioned ways. They manage their plantations using traditional tools such as cowssuch as using cows, horses and traditional carts. And they prefer to use natural seeds rather thannatural seeds, rather than using special seeds, which arewas created by scientists. Although the productivity of these farms is definitely lower, they generate healthier foodfoods for mankind. As a result, many people prefer to purchase organic fruits and vegetables nowadays, as they realise that qualities of these organic foods are better than the industrialised ones. In conclusion, it is a fact that some farmers are in favour of using advanced technology and scientific approaches in handling their farms, while others still use the traditional ways. Both approaches have their own benefits and drawbacks, but in my opinion, traditional ways are still better than the modern one, as organic foods are healthier for consumption.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The essay discusses both positions, keeps a clear preference for traditional agriculture, and supports the contrast with relevant points about productivity, pesticides, and food quality. Its reasoning is easy to follow, but development is somewhat general and the single-block presentation, awkward collocations, and recurring grammatical errors reduce polish. Prioritise clearer paragraphing and more precise evidence about the benefits and drawbacks of each approach.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

Both views are addressed and the writer's opinion is consistent, with relevant explanations of productivity and perceived health effects.

Next step

Develop the modern-farming case beyond higher output and support claims about pesticides and organic food with more careful, specific reasoning.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The argument follows a logical sequence from modern methods to traditional farming and a conclusion, but the entire essay is presented as one paragraph.

Next step

Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs so each viewpoint and its supporting evidence form a clear unit.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

There is adequate topic vocabulary for farming methods and food production, although frequent awkward combinations limit precision and naturalness.

Next step

Replace phrases such as agriculture activities, over usage, and healthier foods with agricultural practices, overuse, and healthier produce.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

The writer attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, verb-form, and relative-clause errors recur throughout while meaning remains clear.

Next step

Check subject-verb agreement and causative structures, correcting forms such as approaches bring, it will increase, and made pests become resistant.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people support the development of agriculture, like factory farming and the scientific creation of fruits and vegetables, while others oppose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your response

Words0
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