School authorities should not spend time and money on music classes and more emphasize should be given to useful subjects like science, computer and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
Music makes mind pleasant, music makes a person’s mind rejuvenated relieved and de-stressed. Inculcating music from childhood days develops a good impact on one's mindset as the child grows, so it is good that music is made a part of schooling subject in school. If we consider the benefits of listening and practising music, it is surprising to note that music rejuvenates and refreshes people's mindsrefreshes minds of people. Music soothes a person who wants some peacea soul which in want for some peace, it is also said that music heals and changes a person's attitudechanges attitudes of a person. Apart from the personal benefits, music has changed people's livesthe music changed people’s lives. Many contemporary musicians developed their native musical traditionsdeveloped their native music in such a way that we sing and hum to their tunes even when we may not understand itthough it might not be understandable by us. For example, the music series by “The Corrs” especially the feathers made us feel the essence of music. Musicians who choseopted music as their career became iconsdeveloped themselves as Icons and for them the sky is the limit to their achievementsthe sky is the no limit for their achievements. If music is nurtured from childhood days, children'stheir attitudes develop and even they become gentlertheir gentleness develops helping them become considerate adultsmaking them as gentlemen and women. Apart from the personal benefits, if music is learnedthe music is learned from the beginning we could see in future many musicians who could do wonders with music. In my opinionAs far as my opinion is concerned music should be part of the curriculuma part of subjects and should be taught and practised right from the childhood days; furthermore, I completelydays, further I completely disagree that money and time spent on music is a waste. Though importance has to be given to the science and computers, a music class does not steal the scientific and computing knowledge out of child’s curriculum and mind Finally, I conclude that spending time and money on music is never a waste, in fact, it helps in aiding children’s mind in absorbing the scientific and computing aspects which are cumbersome.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest aspect is its unequivocal position and sustained effort to explain the personal and educational value of music. Its main limitation is that the discussion is repetitive, loosely organized in one long paragraph, and only briefly addresses the proposed priority for science and technology. The highest-priority improvement is to structure distinct paragraphs that compare curricular priorities and develop each claim with precise, credible support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer clearly disagrees and supplies several relevant benefits of music, but development is repetitive and the competing curricular priority receives limited analysis.
Directly compare music with science and technology, explaining why funding music remains justified rather than repeatedly listing general benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The central position is traceable, but the single long paragraph, repeated ideas, and weak sentence boundaries make progression difficult in places.
Use an introduction, separate body paragraphs for personal and curricular benefits, and a concise conclusion with controlled transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss education and music, but frequent awkward collocations and imprecise expressions weaken clarity.
Replace phrases such as 'schooling subject,' 'opted music,' and 'the sky is the no limit' with natural, precise academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent run-ons, missing punctuation, agreement problems, and malformed relative clauses reduce accuracy.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then check clause boundaries, articles, possessives, and subject-verb agreement throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
School authorities should not spend time and money on music classes and more emphasize should be given to useful subjects like science, computer and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.