Obesity has become bigger and more global problem. What are the causes of this? and what solution can be taken to tackle these problem?
Sample Response
Being overweight is becomingemerging increasingly severe in numerous nations. Although it threatens the health of people, its devastating consequences can be addressed effectivelycombated triumphantly. This essay examines some of the causes of obesitysome of the troubles caused by obesity and suggests some viable remedies to address this serious problemcurb the grave concerns.
To begin with, obesity is due to various reasons. First and foremost is the lack of physical activitythe fewer physical activities done by individuals. This is becausedue to the fact that people do not have enough time to exercise and they have labor-saving devicesnumerous gadgets to perform many taskscomplete their work ultimately leadingwhich ultimately leads to a sedentary lifestyle. For example, peoplefolks complete their household chores usingwith machines which can contribute to weight gainwhich makes them fat. The second cause is unhealthy eating habitsfaulty dietary habits which contain fats, sugars and carbohydrates which is the reason for gaining weight.
However, the problem of obesitythe menace of resolutions can be fought. RegularActive physical activity is a key measurethe main key to tackling obesityconfronting the challenges since it burns calories and reduces the accumulation of fat inside the body. For instance, it is recommended that thirty minutes of exercise daily keeps an individual fit and healthyfiddle. Moreover, a diet containing sufficient amounts of minerals, vitamins and proteina sufficient amount of minerals, vitamins and proteins and fewer carbohydrates, fats and oils is also essential.
In conclusion, being overweight is an acute issue because it has a harmful impactcauses a hazardous impact on people’s health. The best approaches to deal with it are the aforementioned solutions. Even thoughaforementioned solutions, Even though the problem is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short termin short term, there should be concrete steps to mitigate the negative effects it is having on the masses.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its clear division between causes and practical solutions, with each body paragraph maintaining a relevant focus. Its main limitation is that the ideas are fairly general and sometimes expressed through inaccurate or strained wording, which weakens precision. The highest priority is to develop each cause-solution link with a more specific explanation or example while using natural collocations and checking sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions with relevant ideas, though support remains general and occasionally simplistic.
Develop each main point with a precise explanation of how it causes obesity or how the proposed measure would work.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear four-paragraph structure and progresses logically, but some linking is mechanical or inaccurate.
Use transitions that express the exact relationship between ideas and ensure each sentence flows naturally from the previous one.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Replace strained phrases such as descriptions of the problem and its remedies with simpler, accurate health-related vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, although recurring agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-control errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread sentence boundaries and subject-verb agreement, especially in long sentences containing relative clauses or multiple ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Obesity has become bigger and more global problem. What are the causes of this? and what solution can be taken to tackle these problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.