Nowadays more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
Sample Response
The competition between older and younger people for the same jobs has become increasingly common in today's job market. While this situation can create a number of problems, solutions exist to address the concerns of both age groupsconcerns from both of these age groups.
Clearly, this competition can cause a lot of difficultyheadache for the parties involved. Firstly, job security for the older group may be threatened especially in careers that are more labor intensive, as employers may perceive a young candidate as more energetic and favor them to replace an older staff member as a result. This is even more likely if an older employee has spent years inat the job without being promoted to a more senior positionpromoted to a higher position. Meanwhile, young jobseekers have to face a higher barrier to employmenta higher entry barrier for employment. Every year, university and high school graduates compete among themselves for jobs, and in this situationand with this reality, their competitors includetheir competitors would include people who undoubtedly possess more experience as well. This puts the younger generation under pressurethe younger generation’s lives under pressure and can ultimately limitwould end up limiting their access to good employment opportunities.
Several measures can be implemented to resolve the aforementioned issues, fortunately. Initially, employersEmployers, initially, should adopt policies that provide additional job securitypolicies of additional job security for older staff, such as a programin some form of program for older workers to mentor their younger counterparts. OlderThe employees, as a result, will have more opportunities to contribute at the workplace, and be less likely to feel that their livelihood is under threat. With regard to the youth, they should be encouraged to strengthen their employability skillsshore up their employable skills, such as leadership and communication. Taking part in extracurricular activities where they could take on responsibilitiesvolunteer for responsibility is usually the first step to honing these qualities. They would, as a result, stand out amidst the fierce competition in the job market.
In conclusion, the fact that older and younger people compete with each other for employmentcontest each other for employment certainly causes problems for both age groups. In my opinion, it is imperative to consider solutions for these issues to ensurethese issues, to ensure that all age groups have fair access to job opportunities.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both requested areas directly, with particularly strong development of the different employment pressures facing older and younger workers, and it is organised with clear progression and flexible language. The main weakness is that some proposed solutions are only loosely connected to the causes identified; the highest-priority improvement is to show precisely how mentoring, job-security policies, and skills development would reduce age-based competition or expand fair employment opportunities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the problems and solutions are addressed directly with relevant, well-extended ideas for each age group.
Strengthen the causal link between each proposed measure and the specific employment problem it is intended to solve.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised and easy to follow, although a few linking expressions are repetitive or awkwardly positioned.
Reduce repeated use of 'as a result' and place transitions where they express the precise relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and flexible, with effective employment-related language alongside occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as 'a lot of headache,' 'volunteer for responsibility,' and 'contest each other' for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, with only occasional non-impeding errors and awkward constructions.
Polish agreement, article use, and clause construction in the few sentences where references or relationships become imprecise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.