Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
Sample Response
Over the last few decades, many cities around the world have seen alarming increases inincreases in the levels of youth crime. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and provide some possible solutions. The first reason is related to family circumstancesconnected with the family. In order for a child to develop in a balanced waygrow up in a balanced way, it is very important that he or she is nurtured well by his or her parents. However, these days, it is often the case that children are neglected. This may be becausebecause of the fact that both parents in many city families now have to workmany parents in cities now both have to work so are often not around to give their children support when needed. Another factor is the rising poverty levelsincreasing levels of poverty around the world. We have seen with globalization the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and this inevitably means that those who are poorer will have to resort to illegal means to get what others have. Of course, this will include the children from poorer familieschildren in the poorer families. However, there are ways to tackle such problems. Firstly, one way to combat the problem is to impose stricter punishmentsone of the ways to combat the problem is to have stricter punishments. Although, as discussed above, it can be outside factors that lead to crime, it is still important to have severe punishments to deter teenagers from crime. All too often, because they are young, the courts are too lenient. Parents also have to take more responsibility for their children’s actions. They too should be punished if their children commit crimescrime. To sum up, several factors have led to increases in youth crime, but measures are available to tackle this problem.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant, easy-to-follow treatment of both causes and solutions, with family neglect and poverty explained clearly. Its main limitation is that the proposed solutions are narrower and less fully developed than the causes, while the single-paragraph presentation weakens structural clarity; the highest-priority improvement is to develop distinct solution paragraphs that explain how each measure would address an identified cause.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with relevant causes and solutions, although the solutions receive less explanation and support.
Explain how each proposed measure would work in practice and connect it directly to one of the identified causes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move in a logical sequence and referencing is generally clear, but the lack of paragraph divisions obscures the essay’s structure.
Use separate paragraphs for the causes and solutions, with a focused topic sentence guiding each stage of the argument.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of generally precise topic vocabulary, with only occasional repetition and minor awkwardness.
Vary repeated terms such as crime, problem, and punishment while preserving the directness and accuracy of the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with good control, and occasional punctuation or article errors rarely affect clarity.
Review complex connectors and article use, particularly around concessive clauses and countable nouns, to improve consistency.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.