Schools are no longer needed because children can find so much information on the internet and study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this essay?
Sample Response
Undoubtedly, advanced technology has been taking rootgaining roots in every sphere of life where teaching and learning are not exceptions. Children, nowadays, are more dependent on the Internet despite schools, as such some assume that there is no requirement of schools anymore. I firmly disagree with this perspective, and following paragraphsupcoming segments explain my viewpoint with exampleselaborate my viewpoint on this with factual examples.
To beginembark with, the Internet is an valuable aidimpressive helping hand for students in the learning process. All informationEvery knowledge, whethereither required or not, is just a click away from them. However, thinking that teaching institutions are not essential anymore, I believe it is not justifiable. Schools are not meant for academic study alonestudies merely. There, studentsHere one not only gain academic knowledgegets knowledge of academics but also gain extensive experiencebut also have a handful of experience in extracurricular activities. To exemplify, many artists have grown from educational institutionseducation institutes such as Satinder Sartaj, a renowned Punjabi singer. Hence, without schools, today’s entertainment industryour today’s entertainment industry would not have such gems.
In addition to this, the availability of teachers at school is vital for children’s all-around development. Imparting social values and making emotionally stable and career guidance are pivotal roles that a teacher performs onat school premises. Furthermore, teaching institutes provide career opportunities in the form of campus recruitment for a brighter futurefor the greener future of their pupils. For instance, most of the children receive offer lettershave offer letters to them from management schools in Canadaat management schools of Canada before exams. Therefore, in the absence of schools, educational aspirants will be deprived ofwill deprive of social values and job opportunitieschances.
To conclude, although Internet has everything for children to learn, it can never replace school and tutors physically since extracurricular activities, career guidance and jobs in advance cannot be undermined that one could have at school only.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement and organises its reasons into distinct paragraphs, so the central argument remains easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several supporting examples are only loosely connected to children’s need for schools, while frequent awkward phrasing and grammar errors reduce precision. The priority is to develop each reason with directly relevant evidence and express it in simpler, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear position and relevant reasons for retaining schools, but some supporting examples are unconvincing or insufficiently connected to the claim.
Use one directly relevant example for each reason and explain clearly how it proves that home internet study cannot replace school.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear introduction-body-conclusion structure and generally progresses logically, although some linking expressions are mechanical or awkward.
Use simpler transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one central reason from claim through explanation to relevant example.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate topic-related range, but frequent collocational errors and unnatural word choices reduce precision.
Prefer natural combinations such as gain ground, gain experience, and be deprived of opportunities, and avoid memorised-sounding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction, and verb forms weaken accuracy.
Focus on complete clause structures and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each complex sentence for missing articles and auxiliaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools are no longer needed because children can find so much information on the internet and study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this essay?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.