Some people think the money they earn should be enjoyed by spending it now, while others think their earnings should be saved for the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Some employees often think that they should make use of their salary instantly as they earn it. Meanwhile, othersanother set argues that keeping the money for future needs is bestfuture purposes is the best. However, this essay will examinelook into the two sides of the argument while I develop my own side of the opinions.
In the first place, those who argue that salary should be enjoyed straightaway have their reasons for saying so. First, becauseOne, for the fact that you are working in an organization, you are expected to look good because, directly or indirectly, you are an ambassador of that establishment. For instance, a banker is not to be looked tattered. Therefore, you need to spend your wages as you receive themas you have it. One of the main reasons for spending a salary immediatelycogent reasons for instant spending of salary is that nobody knows when they will diewhen the last breath comes. Therefore, it is advisable to enjoy one’s money when he or she is still alive rather than keepstill alive than keeping it till a future time that one cannot predict. For example, in my workplace, Mr Steve was a very hardworking man who used to save almost 70% of his salary but accidentally died while his retirement remained four years.
On the other handIn another way around, those who support reserving their salary until a later time support this view for several practical reasonsargue this because of some reasonable purposes. First of all, in my country, as a civil servant, you will need to save a larger part of your salary before you can undertake a major projectengage in a capital project. For example, a certain part of your wages will need to be paid into a cooperative societygo into cooperative society before you can obtain a loanaccess the loan. Therefore, it is necessary to save your salary if you want to finance a major projectachieve a big project like housing. Another reason is the needIn addition to this is the necessity to save money for retirement. For example, salary earners need to set aside part of their salarysecure part of their salary till when they will leavelive their job.
To conclude, both views are justified by their reasons, however, as much as it is good to look nice by spending your remuneration as you collect it, I am of the opinion that it is better to reserve a larger part of it till future for the sake of capital projects and retirement purpose.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear paragraph-level treatment of both views, supported by concrete examples, and it ultimately states a definite preference for saving. The main limitation is uneven reasoning: looking presentable only partly supports immediate enjoyment of earnings, while some examples are expressed unclearly. The highest priority is to build each argument around a precise claim and explain directly how the example proves it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is given, but some supporting arguments are only partly relevant or insufficiently explained.
Develop each view with a direct reason about present enjoyment or future security, then explicitly connect the example to that reason.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, although linking is sometimes mechanical and several sentences connect awkwardly.
Use clearer claim-explanation-example sequences within paragraphs instead of relying on repetitive signposting such as "For example" and "Therefore".
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range, including vocabulary about wages, retirement, and major purchases, but recurring collocational errors reduce precision.
Prefer natural combinations such as "spend their salary," "save for the future," and "leave their job" over forced or inaccurate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the argument, though errors in articles, pronouns, comparison, and clause construction recur.
Review sentence boundaries and dependent clauses, then check articles and comparative forms in each complex sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the money they earn should be enjoyed by spending it now, while others think their earnings should be saved for the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.