Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?
Sample Response
These days, professional athletes can earn a great deal of money as sports have become a lucrative business. Furthermore, this business is supported by many companies in various ways, including sponsorships and other forms of supportincluding sponsorships and so forth. From my perspective, this is a largely positive developmentmore of a positive development.
To begin with, paying large sums of moneypaying a big amount of money to athletessports people can be considered beneficial to sports. When these people find their careers sufficiently rewarding financiallyfind their career rewarding enough in terms of earnings, they are more likely to have greater motivation to devote more time and effort to their trainingdevote hard work and time to their training. As a result, these athletes are able to enhance their performance in competition and wingain more medals for themselves or for their own country. In Brazil, sport has become an industrysports have become an industry that attracts substantial investmentreceives huge investments from companies like Wilkes and Banco. Brazilian footballers are paid millions of dollars a year just to bring victory to their country, explaining why this nation has won so many championships.
It is also advantageous for sports when businesses pour a lot of money and support into the industry. Since HAGL, a prosperous business group in Vietnam, spent billions of Vietnamese dong on constructingallocated billions of Vietnam Dong to the construction of a sports institute to provide young football players with professional training, the Vietnamese national football team has become much stronger. Being well-trained, they now have a better chance of winning more championships and awards than their predecessors. Other companies in Vietnam also use images of popular sports idols in advertisements on social media for another purpose. Aiming at all walks of life, they inspire people to have a greater passion for sports, potentially increasing the number of talented athletes.
In conclusion, sport can benefit a great deal from becoming a business as it will help to increase participation in sportimprove the popularity of playing sport and leading a healthy lifestyle, while professional athletes will have more financial incentives to improve their performance.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear positive position and supports it with two relevant, well-organised lines of argument about athlete incentives and corporate investment. Its main limitation is that some claims and examples are simplified, while the conclusion introduces healthy lifestyles without prior development. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the causal analysis and qualify the examples so that each claimed benefit is more convincingly demonstrated.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops two directly relevant benefits with extended examples.
Qualify broad causal claims and develop the healthy-lifestyle point before including it in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with clear referencing and cohesive connections.
Make the transition within the corporate-support paragraph more explicit when moving from training investment to advertising.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary is used effectively, including precise language for finance, training, and sporting achievement.
Refine occasional awkward collocations such as paying a big amount and performance in competition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Polish article, number, and preposition choices in a few phrases to make the language consistently natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.