Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
While some people argue that technological advancements help reduce the number of criminal activities, others believeopine that they actually increase crime ratesit actually increases the crime rate. Personally, I side with the former as progress in technology has had a positive impact on crime worldwidethe world's crime scene.
On the one hand, developments in technology have paved the way for an emerging formkind of crime: cyber-crime. As most transactions nowadays are done via the Internet, thieves can hack into one’s account and tamper with online transactions, divertingsending the money to their own bank accounthis bank account rather than to the intended recipientinstead of that of the actual recipient of the payment. A milder case would be information thievery, in which one’s personal information would be stolen and sold to a third party, who, in a positive case, are advertising companies, or to catfishes, in the worst case scenario. For example, a number of fraud cases in Vietnam involved middle-aged womena number of frauds in Vietnam happened to middle-aged women, who were swindled out of millions by imposters acting as their children or relatives online.
On the other hand, technological advancements have helped solve cases faster and prevent criminal activities. First, high-tech equipmentgears and programs can help identify offenders accurately and promptlydetect offenders effectively and in a timely manner. To illustrate, a 35-year-old cold case in Texas has just been solved using DNA technology. The 1986 murder was thought to be hopeless as no visible evidenceevidences were found, yet innovations in crime science havehas brought new and concrete evidenceproofs. Another benefit of technologyAnother use of technological developments is to prevent crimes. What this means is that through the use of technology, attempted crimes can be deterredcrime attempts can be deterred. For example, released convicts will usually be forced to wear a GPS tracking device. Thanks to this, many criminals have abandoned their plans to reoffendtheir recidivism plan as they could be easily sent back to jail.
To conclude, although there are sound arguments as to why technological developments can facilitate crimetechnology developments can facilitate crimes, I believe that, in reality, it can help avert criminal activities.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response fully engages with both perspectives, maintains a clear opinion, and develops each side with specific, relevant examples. Its main limitation is uneven precision in vocabulary and grammar, with several awkward collocations and agreement or countability errors that slightly weaken otherwise fluent communication. The highest-priority improvement is to replace imprecise expressions with natural academic collocations and proofread complex sentences for grammatical control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed, the writer's preference remains clear, and the main ideas are extended with relevant examples.
Qualify broad claims about offenders' behaviour so that the supporting examples remain fully credible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader effectively.
Make the internal transitions in the crime-prevention paragraph more concise to avoid slightly mechanical signposting.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas, although several collocations and word forms are unnatural or inaccurate.
Use more natural academic combinations for crime-science terms and check countable and uncountable nouns carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used confidently, but agreement, pronoun reference, and countability errors recur.
Proofread complex sentences specifically for subject-verb agreement and clear reference between singular and plural nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crimes. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.