Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?
Sample Response
More developing countries are expandingimproving their tourism industries. Personally, I argue that this is a result of advances in the aviation industrya result of the improvement in the aviation industry, and it is on the wholeon the whole, not a positive development; this is because an inevitable result of the growth of tourismthe inevitable result of the rise of tourist industries is the erosioncorruption of local cultures in an attempt to appeal to tourists.
As production technology improves, it is now cheaper than ever to manufacture aircraftplanes, thereby reducing the costdiminishing the cost of international travel to developing countries. Technological improvements reduce dependence on human labordecrease the dependency upon human labor, which is often more expensive in the long run than machines for producing products such as airplanes. Furthermore, as companies grow, they achieveacquire economies of scale, which means that the average cost of producing each unit decreases. This culminates in aviation companies such as Boeing being able to create large numbers of planesvast quantities of planes every year, and airlinesflight agencies being able to offer flights to more remote destinationsfar-fetched locations.
However, I argue that this rise in tourism to developing countries inevitably imposes unwanted constraints on local peopleforces unwanted constraints on the locals as expectations of their culture affectexpectations of their cultural impact how many people come to visit and spend their disposable income on the local tourist industry, and as time goes on, the culture becomes performative and begins to lose its significance. Local populations, due to market pressuresthe imposition from markets, have to modify traditional customs in order to please foreign visitors, over time leaving behind a destination withof little authenticity. “Overcommercialization" of cities is a recent yet prevalent phenomenon that can actually hurt the tourism industry in the long run.
Overall, I argue that although the cost of travel to developing countries has diminished significantlymass travel to developing countries has diminished significantly as a byproduct of cheaper plane production, it has brought with it the overwhelmingly negative effect of cultural erosion on these nations.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and uses a well-developed cause-and-effect structure, with particularly strong explanation of cheaper air travel and cultural erosion. Its main limitation is a contradictory conclusion claiming that mass travel has diminished, which conflicts with the argument that tourism has risen. The highest priority is to check that the final summary accurately restates the central reasoning and position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with a clear negative position and relevant, substantially developed explanations.
Correct the contradictory claim about mass travel diminishing and ensure the conclusion precisely reflects the argument developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, cause paragraph, consequence paragraph, and conclusion, although some long sentences strain clarity.
Break the most densely layered sentences into shorter units so each causal relationship remains immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
A broad and topic-appropriate vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, though a few collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Refine combinations such as references to market pressure and distant destinations to make word choice more natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally strong control, while occasional clause construction and punctuation problems remain.
Review long multi-clause sentences for clear grammatical relationships and more controlled comma placement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.