In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The debate over which group, namely the elderly and younger generations, should be most highly valuedshould be of utmost appreciation is one that has long been contestedhas been long contested. I am of the opinion that despite the economic value generated by young adultseconomic values fostered by young adults, older people should be treated with gratitudegratitude towards older people should be expressed due to basic moral principlesgeneral human morality and their accumulated wisdomtheir thorough understanding.
Those who suppose that valuing youth is pivotal may well say that the young population is crucialwould be crucial in laying the foundation and advancing the national economymaking progress for the national economy. The young, who comprise the majority of the workforce in the world, are innovative, passionate, and committed to creatingdiligent in working to create breakthroughs in myriad fields. They, therefore, play a key role in boosting economic growth and raising living standardsestablishing a higher living standard. Thus, the young generation should be provided with favorable conditions to develop their capabilitieswiden their horizons and becomebe contributing members of society. Take Mark Zuckerberg, the 37-year-old CEO of Facebook, as a prime example - this creative young man has successfully created a global social network - a multi-billion dollar business model, which can revolutionarily facilitate communication across the globe.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I still believe that under no circumstances should older people be devalueddepreciated because of moral principlesmoral principles in human life and their wealth of knowledge. Regarding the former, seniors have devoted their whole liveslife to contributing to the growth of our society; therefore, treating them with dignity and respect is of paramount importance. Coupled with this is that the elderly have ample life experience passed down from one generation to the next as valuable lessons which are essential in assisting young people to tackle obstacles and guiding them to the right path in life. This fact explains the reason whyrationale behind the reality that many world leadersa great number of leaders in the world are seniors.
In conclusion, although I acknowledge the potential of the young in economic terms, I would argue that the elderly should be respected due to their vast amount of knowledge and the moral principles of human civilisationthe codes of ethics in the civilization of mankind.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay gives a clear, consistent preference for valuing older people while developing both cultural perspectives through relevant reasoning and examples. Its strongest feature is the controlled progression of ideas, but some ambitious vocabulary is awkward or imprecise and occasionally makes the argument sound forced. The highest priority is to choose more natural collocations and express the same sophisticated ideas with greater precision and economy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both views, sustains a clear opinion, and develops each side with relevant reasons and support.
Make the cultural dimension more explicit so the discussion explains why different societies value each age group.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices effectively marking concession, support, and conclusion.
Use slightly less formulaic transitions to make the movement between ideas feel more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging and ambitious, but several unnatural or imprecise choices weaken otherwise effective expression.
Prefer idiomatic choices such as valued or undervalued and avoid forced formations when simpler wording is more exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is handled accurately in most sentences, with only occasional awkward constructions.
Refine inversion and complement structures, particularly patterns like coupled with this, to improve grammatical naturalness.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.