Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have a negative effect on society and should be censored. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
The popularityimportance of films and computer entertainment has made depictions of crime more widespreadinvites crime to become popular in the contemporary eraEra. This issue has long been debatedIt is always debatable and has now become more controversial, with many people claiming that it is beneficial in terms of entertainment while others reject this notion. In my opinion, both the use of movies and computer games appears to be more rational but practically, its addiction to be controlled. This essay will further elaborate on my viewselaborate my views and thus lead to a logical conclusion.
Analyzing the statement and explaining further the first and foremost reason behind it is that owing to movies and computer games, they are now becoming stress busters against people’s hectic work schedule. Another striking benefit in this regard is that by watching movies and playing computer gameswatching movies and computer games, juveniles can developadopt logical thinking as well as imagination. For instance, in India, ‘whitewater Jr’ is a platform where children are invited to write logical code for gamesmake logical codes of the game when playing it, which can boost their thinking abilitiesobscenities and mind development. Thus, games can be beneficialgames are more righteous.
However, there are many pitfalls that negate this argument and the potential influence of this trend, but the most alarming one is that games and movies are becoming an addiction for many people, which lead to spending more time themselves in these activities, and they are often involved with less social arrangements. Moreover, movie scenes and games sometimes encourage criminal behaviourinculcate crime, and many such cases have been reportedwe have many cases observed in the media. For example, last year in India, people preferred to play a game called “PUBG” as this is a shooting type of online virtual entertainment. In many regions of India, crimes have occurredwe have seen a crime, so authorities have banned this game. Hence, these activities needthese apparent needs to be controlled.
To recapitulate, according to the arguments presentedaforementioned above, even though games and movies are imperative for the fie populace’s entertainment in my viewpoint, their limited uselimited use of there is always acceptable. In addition, theirits potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable four-paragraph structure and attempts to present both perspectives with examples. However, the positive discussion often concerns games and films generally rather than violent content, the position is awkwardly expressed, and frequent inaccurate wording and grammar strain clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to state a precise view on censorship and develop directly relevant reasons in simpler, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both broad perspectives are mentioned, but the discussion only partly addresses violent content and the final position lacks precision.
Focus every main idea on violent media and state clearly whether censorship, restriction, or unrestricted access is preferable and why.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence and overall contrast are clear, although formulaic linking and confusing sentence logic weaken progression within paragraphs.
Use direct topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s central claim instead of relying on stock transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is an attempt at varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Prioritise precise familiar wording and replace expressions such as ‘thinking obscenities’, ‘games are more righteous’, and ‘social arrangements’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but recurring agreement, pronoun, article, and clause-structure errors reduce clarity.
Write shorter complete clauses first, then check each sentence for a clear subject, correct verb agreement, and accurate pronoun reference.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Movies and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have a negative effect on society and should be censored. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.