There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the trendNowadays trend of listening music has increased enormouslyenormous. Some people think that traditional music of any nation is very important because it forms part of the identityimportant and an identity of that nation, whereas many people believethat nation where as, many people who believe that international music is more beneficial to a nationmore effective for any nation. Today, there is many varieties of musica lot of varieties in the music and these varieties are continuously increasingcontinuously increasing day by day, for instance, folk musicfor instance folk music is mostly found in Asian countries especially in South Asian countriesspecially in the south Asian countries like Pakistan, India and Bangladesh, whereas pop musicBangladesh, where as, the pop music and rap songs originatedhave initially started from Europe and America. The most important question which occur is why we need music or what is the importance of music in our life? One of the main reasons for listening to musicreason for listening music is that it givesgive us relaxation when we are troubled, depressed, or seeking relief from a difficult situationin trouble, in depression or want some relaxation from any tough situation. Secondly, music makesmake a person more calm and tension free, so after listening to a songafter listening the song the person is better able to returnin more control to get back to work with more energy and passionwith more energy and with more passion. Traditional music of any nation has more importance for that nation for instance if we look in Pakistan or south Asian countries people play their own native songs in their functions, birthday parties and in wedding parties rather than playing English or ay other songs. Moreover, the national songs are also the identity of any nation, these music represent the culture of that nation, so music of any society should be promoted by that society and it should be kept at an asset. On the other hand international music also have some importance in the society the main reason which i give to support the above argument is people came to know the music of other culture and enjoy the types of music of different societies. After viewing above discussion it would lead me to conclude on the note that music is very important in life, moreover, cultural music has much importance than other international music and it should be preserved as an asset.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest aspect is its identification of several understandable reasons for needing music, including relaxation, renewed energy, cultural identity, and exposure to other societies. However, substantial space is diverted to comparing traditional and international music, while frequent grammatical and sentence-boundary errors weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to organise focused reasons into separate paragraphs and express each one in shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the central question with several relevant reasons, but its focus is diluted by an extended comparison of music types.
Develop each reason why music is needed directly and remove material that mainly debates traditional versus international music.
Coherence and Cohesion
A basic progression from personal benefits to cultural functions is visible, but the single long paragraph and run-on sentences weaken organisation.
Divide the response into clear paragraphs and give each sentence one manageable stage of the argument.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers the topic adequately and includes some relevant cultural terms, but frequent collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Practise natural combinations such as listening to music and preserving music as an asset, while checking word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but persistent agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-structure errors sometimes make them difficult to follow.
Build accurate simple and compound sentences first, paying particular attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.