Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). What is the reason? Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
These days, it is common to see young people squander their time and money on keeping up with the latest trends, such as flashy clothing and tech gadgetsincluding buying flashy clothing and tech gadgets. From my perspective, the desire for self-expression is the root cause, and this trend brings a number of negative consequences.
As society has developedDue to the development of society, people are now living in a more peaceful, convenient and prosperous worlda peaceful world full of convenience and wealth. The Internet and social media have also been developing rapidly, and have exposed people, particularly the youth, to large numbersamounts of images of people with an appealing, lavish lifestylethose with a desirable lavish lifestyle. Both of these factors help explain whycontribute to the fact that many young individuals tend to express themselves, with thean aim of proving their ability to afford luxurious items, such as fashionable clothes and high-end tech gadgets, from smartphones to tablets. For these reasons, many young people are quite willing to spend a great deal of timespend huge amounts of their time earning money so that they can simply spend it on the latest fashionspour it into the latest fashion trends.
In the long run, this can have adverse effects, not only on young people, but also on society as a whole. Following fashion trends certainly can drive young people to the edge of bankruptcy ifdrives young people to the edge of bankruptcy, if they continue to squander their hard-earned money and consequently lose control of their spending. Things can even become worse, especially when unexpected expenses ariseunexpected things occur, such as accidents, or when the need to pay for tuition fees arises. On a social level, should more money be spent on luxurious goods, the need for common products will dwindle, causing a reduction inof sales of common goods which may eventually affect local businesses and economies.
In conclusion, the reason young people tend to want to spend money trying to keep up with the latest fashion trends is a result of them trying to express themselves, and this is a negative development in my opinion.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear position, answers both questions, and develops a logical chain from self-expression to personal and social consequences. Its main limitation is that some claims, especially the predicted effect on ordinary goods and local economies, are overstated or insufficiently substantiated, while several collocations sound unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to make each consequence more plausible and precise through tighter explanation and better-controlled word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered clearly, with relevant development of the proposed cause and negative consequences.
Support the broader social consequence with a more convincing causal explanation or a specific realistic example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised, and ideas progress clearly within well-focused paragraphs.
Reduce reliance on overt causal transitions by letting the logical relationship between consecutive sentences carry more of the flow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and suitably ambitious, though several collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Use more natural combinations such as exposure to images and spending money on trends, and avoid overstated terms like bankruptcy where unnecessary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is handled with generally strong accuracy and consistently clear meaning.
Tighten punctuation and clause control in long sentences, especially where conditional or parenthetical elements interrupt the main structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). What is the reason? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.