Major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in those cities are facing? Suggest some solutions.
Sample Response
There is no doubt that cosmopolitan cities are facing different issues. Poor housing and pollution are the most seriousdangerous; however, these can be effectively controlled by developingsetting a planned city outside the city centreoutside the centre of the town.
FirstOn the one hand, firstly, when a large number of people migrate to an urban area, this can cause a shortage of adequate housingthis would cause scarcity of proper houses. In other words, the city dwellers may be forced to live in cramped accommodationa cramped space, where they may lack access to safe watercould not have safe water and sanitation facilities. Additionally, the influx of peopledwellers means the urban areathe urbanised place is vulnerable to pollution from industries and vehicles. For example, in Mumbai, where, a slum called Dharavi, millions of migrant workers live in pathetic situations, which is often seen as an epicentre of many diseases since most of the inhabitants are living without having basic requirements and this region is highly contaminated as well.
To address these problemsNevertheless, on the other hand, the above-mentioned problems could be significantly reducedare significantly diminished, if the city governmentthe government of town develops an effective action planmakes a proper plan of action to counteract the difficulties. The first priority is to relocateThe first and foremost thing is that relocate the industries and multi-national companies to the outskirts of the city. By doing this, gradually and slowly the crow moves to the new location, eventually, vehicles can be reduced. Moreover, For instance, the authority can impose stricter punishment on traffic offenders along with no traffic zone and encourage public transportation can limit pollution for a great extent in this types of the busy part of the world.
In conclusion, althougheven though due to the high volume of inhabitants in cities can lead to a lack of housingcan lead a ack of housing and increase contamination, these problems may be resolvedthis may be resolved by reducing the overcrowding of people and vehicles on the road. It is recommended that every city needs to planevery township is needed to plan in order to meet future needs and reduce pollutionmeet future needs and pollutions.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies two urban problems and offers several relevant policy directions, with a recognisable problem-solution structure. However, it rarely addresses the required focus on young people, and frequent grammatical and lexical errors make several explanations difficult to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to select problems that specifically affect urban youth and explain one clear, workable solution for each in accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Housing and pollution are discussed with proposed solutions, but the response largely overlooks how these problems specifically affect young people and develops some solutions unclearly.
Frame each problem around young residents and explain precisely how the corresponding policy would improve their circumstances.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall problem-solution organisation is evident, but mechanical linkers, overloaded sentences, and unclear internal connections weaken progression.
Use one focused idea per sentence and connect each solution directly to the problem it is intended to solve.
Lexical Resource
The response shows enough topic vocabulary to discuss urban issues, but frequent spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors reduce precision.
Proofread high-impact choices such as crowd, lack, pollution, and to a great extent, and avoid imprecise expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in clause formation, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes impede meaning.
Prioritise complete subject-verb clauses and accurate sentence boundaries before attempting long multi-clause constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in those cities are facing? Suggest some solutions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.