The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.
Sample Response
The given table compares eight different consumer products possessed by the British between 1972 and 1983. As a whole, television was the most common item they were using during this period, while dishwasher, which was introduced in 1978, was the least popular durable product in the UK.
It can be seen that television and vacuum cleaner were those two devices consumed more than the other ones, from 1972 to 1983. About the former, it ranged from 93% to 98% and the latter from 87% to 95% ownership in Britain. Furthermore, the figures of both groups gradually rose.
In contrast, dishwasher and video were the least favourable durable during 1972 to 1983. 3% of British citizens began using the dishwasher in 1978, reaching the maximum of 5% in 1983. In addition, the video became a durable electronic device since 1983, and only 18% of these people used it. On the other side, usage of all of the other products, including washing machine, refrigerator, telephone or central heating steadily grew. In this case, the percentage for central heating had the greatest growth, rising from 33% in 1972 to almost twice in 1983.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Ownership wording Original: possessed by the British Suggested revision: owned by British households Why it matters: The table reports household ownership percentages.
- 2. Overview linker Original: As a whole Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall is the standard Task 1 overview marker.
- 3. Ownership measure Original: they were using Suggested revision: households owned Why it matters: The table shows ownership, not necessarily use.
- 4. Recorded data Original: dishwasher, which was introduced in 1978 Suggested revision: dishwasher, first recorded in 1978 Why it matters: The table records ownership from 1978; it does not prove the product was introduced then.
- 5. Wrong verb Original: consumed more than the other ones Suggested revision: owned by more households than the other items Why it matters: Consumer durables are owned, not consumed.
- 6. Natural category Original: least favourable durable Suggested revision: least common durable goods Why it matters: The chart is about ownership, not favourability.
- 7. Household ownership Original: began using the dishwasher Suggested revision: had dishwashers Why it matters: This more directly reflects the table.
- 8. Recorded category Original: the video became a durable electronic device since 1983 Suggested revision: video ownership was first recorded in 1983 Why it matters: The table only shows a value for video in 1983.
- 9. Precise subject Original: these people Suggested revision: households Why it matters: The percentages refer to households, not individuals.
- 10. Linker choice Original: On the other side Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast is more natural in formal comparison.
- 11. List conjunction Original: telephone or central heating Suggested revision: telephone and central heating Why it matters: Use and when listing the remaining rising categories.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: The given table compares eight different consumer products possessed by the British between 1972 and 1983. Suggested revision: The table compares the percentages of British households owning eight consumer durables between 1972 and 1983. Why it matters: This states the unit of measurement more accurately.
Suggested Rewrites
- possessed by the British owned by British households
- As a whole Overall
- they were using households owned
- dishwasher, which was introduced in 1978 dishwasher, first recorded in 1978
- consumed more than the other ones owned by more households than the other items
- least favourable durable least common durable goods
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies televisions and vacuum cleaners as the most common items and dishwashers and videos as the least common. It covers the main upward trends, but it overlooks the missing 1983 vacuum-cleaner figure and could give more precise support for refrigerators, telephones, and central heating.
Mention that most items increased over time, with central heating and telephones rising strongly, while video only appears in 1983 at 18%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The organization is clear, with an overview and paragraphs for high- and low-ownership items. Some comparisons are repetitive and the final paragraph groups too many other items together.
Group the items by high ownership, late-introduced items, and strong growth categories.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is suitable but several words are unnatural for ownership data, including consumed, least favourable, and durable electronic device.
Use owned, ownership, households, common, least common, and recorded.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response is generally clear but has errors with articles, prepositions, and comparative phrasing.
Check phrases such as from 1972 to 1983, since 1983, and by British households.