The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.
Sample Response
The table data compares the electronic appliance ownership by British families from 1972 to 1983.
In general, TV had always been popular among British citizens, and the dishwasher was the least common item during the given period.
As is observed from the given data, almost one-third households in Britain had central heating machines in 1972, and the percentage increased each year and reached to 64% in 1983 - which shows that the central heating users almost doubled in just 12 years. Moreover, television was the most common household electronic consumer item as 93% families had them. This ration reached to 98 percent with slight increase year by year. However, the video was introduced in 1983 when only 18% houses had them. Besides, vacuum cleaners, refrigerators and washing machines were also common household appliances after TV. These three device were owned between 66 to 87 percent houseowners in 1972, and the percentages increased to over 90, except for washing machine with almost 80% wonership, a decade later. Interestingly, dishwashers were less popular as only 3 to 5 percent families possessed them. Finally, one four of ten families had telephones in 1972, and after 12 years almost 80% familied had telephone set at their homes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Broader category Original: electronic appliance ownership Suggested revision: consumer durable ownership Why it matters: The table includes consumer durables, not only electronic appliances.
- 2. Tense Original: TV had always been popular Suggested revision: TV was consistently popular Why it matters: Use past simple for a finished period.
- 3. Wrong noun Original: central heating machines Suggested revision: central heating Why it matters: This is a system, not usually a machine.
- 4. Verb pattern Original: reached to 64% Suggested revision: reached 64% Why it matters: "Reach" does not take "to" before a number.
- 5. Missing preposition Original: 93% families Suggested revision: 93% of families Why it matters: Use "of" after a percentage.
- 6. Spelling Original: This ration Suggested revision: This ratio Why it matters: The word should be "ratio".
- 7. Verb pattern Original: reached to 98 percent Suggested revision: reached 98 percent Why it matters: Remove "to" after "reached".
- 8. Missing article Original: with slight increase Suggested revision: with a slight increase Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article.
- 9. Missing preposition Original: 18% houses Suggested revision: 18% of households Why it matters: Use "of" after a percentage and keep terminology consistent.
- 10. Plural noun Original: These three device Suggested revision: These three devices Why it matters: Use the plural after "three".
- 11. Range phrase Original: between 66 to 87 percent Suggested revision: between 66 and 87 percent Why it matters: Use "between ... and".
- 12. Wrong term Original: houseowners Suggested revision: households Why it matters: The table reports households, not homeowners.
Suggested Rewrites
- electronic appliance ownership consumer durable ownership
- TV had always been popular TV was consistently popular
- central heating machines central heating
- reached to 64% reached 64%
- 93% families 93% of families
- This ration This ratio
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview and reports many important trends accurately, including high television ownership, low dishwasher ownership, and growth in heating and telephones. Some details are imprecise, and vacuum cleaner data is mishandled because the 1983 figure is not shown.
Check missing values carefully and avoid claiming a final percentage when the table has a dash.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is generally organized from overview to details, but the long final paragraph contains too many categories and becomes crowded.
Split the details into high-ownership items, rising items, and late/low-ownership items.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate, but several spelling and word-choice errors reduce clarity, such as "ration", "wonership", and "familied".
Proofread high-frequency nouns and use standard phrases such as "households owned" and "ownership rose".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are frequent article, plural, and agreement errors, although meaning remains mostly clear.
Check noun agreement after numbers and percentages, especially "families", "households", and "devices".