The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.
Sample Response
The table data shows the percentage of British households which owned a range of consumer durables between 1972 and 1983.
Overall, the ratio of British families owning those household appliances steadily increased between 1972 and 1983, and television was the most common household electronic items during this period while telephone ownership increased steadily.
In details, the greatest increase in the electronic household item possession by the British families was in telephone ownership, rising from 42% in 1972 to 77% in 1983. Next came central-heating ownership, rising from 37% of households in 1972 to 64% in 1983. Moreover, the percentage of households with a refrigerator rose 21% over the same period, and with a washing machine by 14%. Households with vacuum-cleaners. televisions and dishwashers increased by 8%, 5% and 2% respectively. In 1983 - the year of their introduction - 18% of households had a video recorder. Besides, over the period, the proportion of British houses with central heating rose from one to two thirds, and of those with a phone from under a half to over three-quarters. Together with the big increases in the ownership of washing machines and refrigerators, they are evidence of both rising living standards and the trend to lifestyles based on comfort and convenience.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural introduction Original: table data shows Suggested revision: table shows Why it matters: “Table data shows” is wordy; “the table shows” is enough.
- 2. Measure wording Original: the ratio of British families Suggested revision: the proportion of British households Why it matters: The table measures households, not necessarily families.
- 3. Number agreement Original: electronic items Suggested revision: electronic item Why it matters: The phrase follows singular “television was”.
- 4. Incomplete overview Original: telephone ownership increased steadily Suggested revision: telephone ownership showed the largest rise Why it matters: This better reflects the table’s standout change.
- 5. Fixed phrase Original: In details Suggested revision: In detail Why it matters: Use the singular fixed phrase.
- 6. Wrong figure Original: 37% of households in 1972 Suggested revision: 33% of households in 1972 Why it matters: The table shows central heating at 33% in 1972.
- 7. Parallel structure Original: with a washing machine by 14% Suggested revision: washing-machine ownership rose by 14 percentage points Why it matters: This completes the parallel comparison.
- 8. Sentence break error Original: vacuum-cleaners. televisions Suggested revision: vacuum cleaners, televisions Why it matters: A period incorrectly separates items in the same list.
- 9. Measure wording Original: British houses Suggested revision: British households Why it matters: The table reports households, not houses.
- 10. Unsupported interpretation Original: evidence of both rising living standards Suggested revision: evidence of wider ownership of household durables Why it matters: Avoid interpreting social causes beyond what the table shows.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Next came central-heating ownership, rising from 37% of households in 1972 to 64% in 1983. Suggested revision: Next came central-heating ownership, rising from 33% of households in 1972 to 64% in 1983. Why it matters: The starting value needs correction.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Households with vacuum-cleaners. televisions and dishwashers increased by 8%, 5% and 2% respectively. Suggested revision: Ownership of vacuum cleaners, televisions and dishwashers increased by 8, 5 and 2 percentage points respectively. Why it matters: This fixes punctuation and uses “percentage points” for changes between percentages.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data shows table shows
- the ratio of British families the proportion of British households
- electronic items electronic item
- telephone ownership increased steadily telephone ownership showed the largest rise
- In details In detail
- 37% of households in 1972 33% of households in 1972
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report gives a strong overview of rising ownership and identifies major increases such as telephones and central heating. It includes one wrong starting figure for central heating, overlooks that vacuum-cleaner data is unavailable in 1983, and adds a little unsupported interpretation about living standards.
Report only what the table shows and check each starting and ending figure before making summary claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organisation is mostly clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraph, but the final paragraph becomes crowded and partly repetitive.
Split the details into high-ownership items and fastest-growing/new items to make the table easier to compare.
Lexical Resource
Lexical range is good enough, but collocations such as “In details” and “electronic household item possession” sound unnatural.
Use concise table language such as “ownership”, “households with”, “rose from”, and “was introduced”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The report has many accurate structures, but number agreement, punctuation, and preposition errors remain.
Proofread compound nouns and plural agreement, especially after “items”, “households”, and “percentage”.