The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The pie chart outlines the proportions of locationslocation proportions of the dance classes and the bar chart provides an age breakdown of participants in different types of dance classes, namely ballet, tap and modern.
Overall, the largest segment of the chart is dedicated to private studiosthe private studios, which is in sharp contrast with the college-based studios, where the least numberamount of classes are held. As for the type of dances, both ballet and modern dance classes are quite popular among youngsters.
According to the pie chart,The statistics recorded that private studios are the most popularare the frequently chosen locations for dance classes, which is then followed by school halls with 24%, where the classes are often held after the endinitial ending of the school day. In addition,Subsequently, 18% of the total classes is accounted for byis accounted for the community halls and other similar facilitiesfacillities. Lastly, only 10% of the dance classesgeneral dance classes are held in college-based studios.
Turning to class types by age group, youngstersIn addition, youngsters under the age of 11, approximately 600 children, are mostly interested in ballet, which is followedaccompanied by tap dance classes with roughly 450 youngsters. Furthermore, in the modern dance classes only 300 children are enrolled. On the other hand, young people aged 11 to 16 seemyounger people between the ages 11 and 16 seems to be the most enthusiastic about the modern dance classes, with nearly 510 participants. This is followed by the tap dance classes and lastly ballet, withwhith only 300 teens.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report provides a clear overview and accurately describes key statistics from both visual features, including locations and dance styles by age group. The structure is logical with smooth paragraphing, though minor language slips appear occasionally. To improve further, focus on exact percentage reporting and eliminating minor grammatical and spelling inaccuracies.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key features and comparisons are successfully identified and described, backed by accurate numbers from the charts.
Ensure all relevant specific figures from the visual prompt, such as the exact 48% figure for private studios, are explicitly stated in the detail paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into clear paragraphs with appropriate cohesive devices overall.
Vary cohesive transitions beyond repetitive formulas like 'this is followed by' to enhance natural progression.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary related to data description is used flexibly, despite a couple of minor spelling errors.
Proofread carefully to fix minor spelling mistakes such as 'facillities' and 'whith'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex structures is attempted, though minor grammatical inaccuracies like subject-verb agreement and preposition choices occur.
Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement with plural subjects and correct preposition usage, such as 'accounted for by'.