The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
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Sample Response
The pie chart outlines the proportion of dance classes by locationproportions of locations of the dance classes and the bar chart provides an age breakdown of participants in different types of dance classes, namely ballet, tap and modern.
Overall, the largest segment of the chart is dedicated to private studios, which is in sharp contrast with the college-based studios, where the smallestleast number of classes are held. As for the types of dancetype of dances, ballet is favored by younger children, whereas modern dance is more popular with older students.both ballet and modern dance classes are quite popular among youngsters.
According to the pie chart, nearly half of all dance classes (48%) take place in private studios, followed byprivate studios are the most popular locations for dance classes, which is then followed by school halls with 24%, where the classes are often held after the end of the school day. In addition, 18% of the total classes areis accounted for by the community halls and other similar facilities . Lastly, only 10% of the dance classes are held in college-based studios.
Turning to class types by age group, youngsters under the age of 11, approximately 600 children, are mostly interested in ballet, which is followed by tap dance classes with approximately 450 students.roughly 450 youngsters. Furthermore, in the modern dance classes only 300 children are enrolled. On the other hand, young people aged 11 to 16 seem to be the most enthusiastic about the modern dance classes, with nearly 510 participants. This is followed by the tap dance classes and lastly ballet, with only 300 teens.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The report effectively highlights the key information from both charts with accurate data points and a clear overview. The main limitation is that the overview could highlight the overall dominance of private studios alongside key age comparisons more distinctly. To improve further, refine transitions between paragraphs and incorporate more varied grammatical structures when comparing figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features and data from both charts are selected, accurately described, and supported with accurate numerical details.
Ensure the overview summarizes the main visual trends across both graphs even more concisely and comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs with clear overall progression and smooth transitions.
Vary referencing cohesive devices slightly to prevent repetitive structures like 'which is followed by'.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of vocabulary is used naturally and flexibly to describe proportions and figures.
Incorporate a broader array of precise lexical collocations for describing numerical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex structures is used with a consistently high level of grammatical accuracy throughout.
Experiment with advanced complex structures such as comparative clauses or passive constructions to add grammatical variety.