The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The chart provides information about the proportion of weekly income spent by familiesfamilies' expenditure of weekly income in a particular country in the years 1968 and 2018.
Overall, the largest proportion of expenditure was spent on foodaccounted for food in 1968, while leisure was the largest expenditure categoryspending money on leisure became the highest spending categorywas the most common habit in 2018.
In 1968, food made upmade up of the largest share, exactly 35% of total weekly income. Housing accounted for a similar proportion to clothing and footwear, precisely 10% of income. This was closely followed by leisure at approximately 9%.with nearly 8%. Personal and household goods had the same expenditure as transport, approximately 7%. The smallest percentage of incomeThe least amount of money was spent on fuel and power, around 6%.about 6% of the weekly income.
In 2018, leisure comprised the largest proportion at approximately 22%leisure led with approximately 22%, which was closely followed by housing at about 19%. Expenditure on food and transport werewas at about 17% and 14% respectively. Money spent on household goods accounted for a similar proportion to thatreported a similar proportion as in 1968, roughly 7% of the weekly income. Clothing and footwear took up 5% of weekly spending.5% of the total share. Lastly, people spentspend the smallest proportion on personal goods and fuel and power, at approximately 4% each.at approximately 4% in total.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report effectively highlights the main shifts in household spending between 1968 and 2018, featuring a clear overview and a well-structured layout. Its main limitation lies in slight data inaccuracies, such as combining distinct categories into a single percentage, alongside minor grammatical slips. To improve, ensure each data point is reported independently and double-check preposition usage and tense consistency.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends are clear and an effective overall summary is provided, though minor data inaccuracies occur when describing the smallest spending categories.
Ensure individual category percentages are reported accurately rather than falsely grouping them under a single combined figure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into chronological paragraphs with clear transitions between categories.
Incorporate more direct comparative linking words to contrast the 1968 figures with the 2018 trends within body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of reporting vocabulary and proportion descriptors is used naturally throughout the response.
Refine word choices like using expenditure or habits to ensure terms fit formal data description contexts accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures show good control and variety, though occasional minor verb tense and preposition errors are present.
Maintain consistent past tense throughout descriptions of past periods and check fixed phrasal verbs like made up.