The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The chart provides information about the proportion of weekly income spent by families in a singleparticular country in the years 1968 and 2018.
Overall, the largest share of expenditure was allocated toproportion of expenditure was spent on food in 1968, while leisure represented the highest spending category in 2018.
In 1968, food made up the largest share at exactly 35% of total weekly income. Housing accounted for the same proportion as clothing and footwear, at precisely 10% of incomeprecisely 10% of income. This was closely followed by leisure at around 9%. Personal goods, household goods, and transport accounted for equal shares of roughly 8%. The lowest percentage of expenditure was spent on fuel and power, at about 6%was spent on fuel and power, about 6% of the weekly income.
In 2018, leisure led with approximately 22%, which was closely followed by housing at about 19%. Expenditure on food and transport stoodwas at about 17% and 14% respectively. Spending on household goodsMoney spent on household goods remained at the same levelproportion as in 1968, standing at roughly 8% of weekly income.roughly 8% of weekly income. Clothing and footwear took up exactly 5%Clothing and footwear took up 5% of the total budgetshare. Lastly, people spent the smallest proportion on personal goods and fuel and power, at approximately 4% each.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The report provides a highly accurate and well-structured summary of the chart with a clear overall overview and well-selected data points. Language control is strong across both vocabulary and grammatical structures, with appropriate reporting verbs and precise comparisons. To reach the highest level, the response could incorporate more direct direct comparative analysis between the two years rather than describing each year in separate paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and figures from both years are accurately identified, clearly presented, and supported by accurate data without omissions or errors.
Integrate comparative structures that synthesize the data between the two years directly, rather than presenting each year in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs with a clear overview and smooth transitions between categories.
Vary cohesive linking phrases further to connect trend changes across categories seamlessly.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of task-appropriate vocabulary and reporting phrases is used with natural precision and correct word choice.
Incorporate a broader selection of complex noun phrases to describe shifts in proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical structures are varied, accurate, and consistently well-controlled throughout the report.
Utilize more complex sentence structures combining multiple data trends to showcase advanced range.